Page 34 of Crushed
This only confirmed that it wasn’t money. But what was it? Did ‘getting to know me’ mean getting secrets from my business?
I changed the hourly amount back to her regular rate. I stowed the phone. “What do you want to know?” I asked.
“It’s simple.” She finished her flute, then set it down on the side table. “Are you good, or are you evil?”
“The world is never that simple.”
“Sure, it is.” She sat up straight, adjusting the babydoll on her chest. It looked out of place on her. It flattered her slim curves, but it didn’t lookright. She continued, “All people are inherently good or evil. If you lined up everyone’s acts on a chart, they would lean towards good, or bad.”
There was so much that was wrong with that way of thinking.
“What about soldiers who kill to protect our rights?”
“That’s different.”
“Is it, though?” I lifted my chin. “Pacifists would disagree.”
“Are you a pacifist?”
“No.”
“Then this isn’t really an issue then, is it?”
I shook my head. “You cannot sum a person’s entire identity on the sum of their good deeds or faults. A blood-thirsty murderer could devote every free hour of their non-violent time to volunteering, and if they spent more time volunteering, your outlook, as you described it, would consider them good.”
“No. They’re murdering people, so they’re inherently evil.”
“What if they’re killing to protect others? To make the world a better place?” I shrugged my shoulders. “There’s a rumor that that’s what that serial killer, the Pros’ Angel, was doing. Protecting sex workers by killing abusers.”
Scarlett froze for a moment, then her eyes flickered. “All of that aside, let’s say that I see what you’re saying. What doyouthink you are? Good, or evil? If you had to choose one.”
I had done plenty of things that granted me enemies, people that wished me dead, and rightfully so. I had taken more companies with blackmail than with fair sales. I always gave them the preferred buyout option, but they never took that path.
Was I remorseful for what I did? Never. Because I always had the same goal in mind.
“Okay, fine,” Scarlett said. “If not good or evil, tell me about why you do what you do. There’s usually something behind how we make our money.” So she was after information about my business after all. She grabbed the bottle of champagne out of the chiller and refilled our flutes. “There has to be a reason why you’re in pharmaceuticals.”
I sighed, then went to the hidden refrigerator, taking out the chocolate-covered strawberries. I placed one fruit on a small plate. I looked at Scarlett, but I didn’t see her. My mind was in the past. I hadn’t spoken to many people about my late wife since she died.
So why did I want to tell Scarlett the truth?
I handed her the plate. I wasn’t surewhyshe wanted to know. It wouldn’t give her the business information she was seeking.
But after what she had done for me, endured for my pleasure, she deserved the truth.
“I was a general financial investor before pharmaceuticals. General stuff. Nothing big.” I paused, searching the room’s plainness for something different, but it was all black velvet. “I went into pharmaceuticals after my wife died.” Silence carried between us following those words. It was never easy talking about death, even as years passed. I placed another strawberry on a plate. “She died during childbirth. Had I known about her medical history, I would have…”
I stopped. I would havewhat?
What did it matter what I would have done? The fact was that I hadn’t done any of it. She wanted to bring our daughter into the world, and neither one of us would have terminated the pregnancy. But maybe I could’ve done something. Baby Aspirin to prevent her blood pressure from increasing. Forced bed rest for the last trimester. It had been years since she had passed, but my failure to her remained thick in my heart.
I nodded at the strawberry. “Try it,” I said.
Scarlett took a bite, the dark chocolate melting against her lips and the juice dripping down her chin. The sweet taste would linger on her lips. I did the same, biting into the fruit’s flesh.
“And the baby?” she asked.
I stared at her. I wasn’t going to tell her about Rose.
