Page 90 of Wicked Duty
My heart plummets, weighed down by self-loathing. “I deserve loneliness.”
Her eyes gleam with strength. “I don’t believe that.”
All I can see in my head is Aisling. My university sweetheart. Her open, blue-eyed gaze and sweet, pink-lipped smile…“That’s because you don’t know my ex.”
Lucy’s eyebrows hop. “Your ex?”
Remembering Aisling is like watching an old movie in the back of my mind.
“We met in English Comp during our first year at university. Studying together morphed into dating, and we ended up in a relationship for close to three years. She and I never spoke about it all that much, but marriage felt like the plan after I completed my initial military service. While I was away, we maintained our relationship through phone calls and rare visits during my training and early deployments, but…”
Regret sticks to my ribs like a heavy meal my body refuses to digest. No matter how much time passes, my gut wrenches every time I think about her.
“But?” Lucy blinks up at me.
“But I messed it all up, okay?”
She grasps my hand. “Callum.”
Bitterness jabs me through the chest. “After the failed extraction, I started pulling away. I was…traumatized, I guess. And I couldn’t talk to her about it because it was confidential, and even if I could’ve told her, I didn’t want to burden her. I was shot twice and hospitalized, and I refused to let her visit. Insisted I needed to focus on my recovery.”
Remembering how I treated her… I hate myself for it.
Lucy hums softly. “And so you broke up with her?”
I sigh. “That’s what a decent guy would’ve done. I led her on for six months. One day, while on assignment, I got a box with some of my stuff and a letter explaining that she couldn’t keep waiting for someone who seemed determined to disappear from her life.”
Lucy and I sit in uncomfortable silence.
When the quiet becomes too unbearable, I duck my chin to study my boots. “About two years later, I learned through mutual contacts that she married a childhood friend.”
Lucy brushes her thumb over the back of my hand. “I’m so sorry, Callum.”
“Me too.” Aisling’s smile still haunts me. “She deserved better. And I’ve been gun-shy ever since.”
For a few more moments, we sit in this unusual tranquility. Then Lucy jumps up to her feet, still holding one of my hands in hers. “Come on.”
“What?”
“Sounds to me like you’re completely single.” She beams, and the smile reaches her warm, knowing eyes. “Which means that you’re all mine. At least for today.”
Damn it, this woman knocks me on my ass.
“Buckle up, Kavanagh. You and I are going on a date.”
What am I supposed to say tothat?
Chapter 34
Lucy
Callum opened up to me. He lowered his guard.
He let me in.
My angst from this morning has dissipated altogether, and instead, I’m in the middle of the best afternoon I’ve ever had with a man.
After dragging him out of that park, I happily towed him to some of my favorite stores. I’ve never felt the urge to dress someone before, but I couldn’t stop myself from picking out clothes for Callum and pestering him to try things on.
