Page 89 of Wicked Duty
“But what?”
“None of that changes the fact that I want you.”
Her brown eyes fly wide open while a heartbreaking combination of hope, fear, and attraction rearranges her features.
“It’s like I said last night.” Emotion thickens my voice. “I’m attracted to you. And I have been since the moment we met. Even though guarding you brings out a side of me that I hate.” I direct my attention to the people walking nearby. I don’t like to talk about that part of me or who it reminds me of, but too late now.
“My father, as I told you, has mafia ties, and he always expected that I’d join the fold. He only grudgingly accepted my military service. And when I came home broken and purposeless, he saw it as validation that I shouldn’t have forged my own path.”
“So what did you do?” Lucy inches closer, her thigh pressing against mine. Electricity zips through my muscles.
“I didn’t want to deal with the family’s expectations, and I wasn’t cut out for military service anymore, so I drifted into freelance security work. The Gallaghers are longtime family friends, and when Darren offered me an assignment within his new security firm, a different side of the Kings’ operations, I accepted.”
“But I thought…” She shakes her head a little. “After what happened with the diplomat’s family, I’d assume you wouldn’t want to protect anyone anymore.”
“You’re right. But security’s all I’m good at. It provides routine, structure, and income without requiring me to care about the outcome. After all, if I’m just being paid to protect rich fucks who mingle with mafia men, well, if someone died on my watch, I wouldn’t feel the same kind of remorse I did with the Drakes.”
I can’t believe I said that out loud. But Lucy doesn’t shy away, doesn’t flee in disgust. She just sits here. Listening.
“Anyway…” I clear my throat, hoping she doesn’t notice how much her presence knocks me off balance. “After becoming all existential, leaving the military, and deciding to work freelance security, I started taking on high-risk contracts where my indifference to danger turned me into a valuable asset. But emotionally, it made me…”
“Hollow?” The word from her mouth is soft. Broken.
Like sheunderstandswhat hollow means. Coming from her, the empathy shoves a hot coal into my gut.
“Yeah. Hollow.” I clench my fists. “And jaded. Apathetic. I’ve been bitter, too, and prejudiced toward people I perceive as shallow, self-involved, and needlessly reckless. I began seeing every assignment as a technical exercise rather than a human mission. Protection was just a procedure to execute rather than a person to save. Until I met you.”
She fidgets at my side. “Me?”
I avert my eyes again because I don’t have enough courage to look at her. “You said we didn’t know each other well, but now I bet you’re wishing we’d kept it that way, huh?”
Lucy slides her hand over mine, prying open my fist to accommodate her warm fingers. “I like the Callum behind the mask better.”
My heart punches my ribs.
“Well, you shouldn’t.” A long time has passed since I felt this way about someone, and if I’m being honest, I don’t know how the hell to handle it. “The last time I cared about the people I was protecting…”
“And you’re worried that’s going to happen to me? That I could end up dead?”
An ice pick of fear stabs the back of my neck. “My lack of professionalism toward you definitely increases the risk.”
“Is that all attraction is to you?A lack of professionalism.” Her fingers loosen from mine, but I squeeze her hand to keep her in place. “I didn’t say that.”
To my surprise, Lucy graces me with a stunning little smile. Adorable dimple and all. “Gotcha.”
Her perfect, shining face melts my heart like butter. She’s joking with me. Like none of my confessions repel her at all.
I rest my forehead against hers, my sight zeroing in on her lips as I battle temptation. “You should know that I’m no good at romance.”
Lightning flashes through me when she presses her mouth to mine, brushing my nose with hers. “I’ll be the judge of that.”
“I’m being serious.”
“So am I.”
“Romance…” I shake my head. “I don’t…do it. I’ve avoided anythingeven remotely close to it for many, many years.”
Lucy touches my face. “Sounds lonely.”
