Page 73 of Surrender to Me
“Like she was tied up?” I gulp.
“Her wrists were secured to a hook in the ceiling.”
I’m sure I wouldn’t want to do anything like that.
“Being unable to escape can be very freeing emotionally.”
“Sounds like my worst nightmare.”
He continues with small circles on my back. “Which is what a safe word is for.”
I nod.
“And a limits list.”
Before I can ask, he goes on, “It’s an agreement discussed ahead of time. Things that are not negotiable to either the bottom or the Top.”
That surprised me. “A Top can have limits?”
“Absolutely.”
Despite myself, I’m intrigued. “Do you have any?”
“Yeah. I’ll never do anything that will leave a permanent mark.”
I shudder at that. “Agreed.”
After another short pause, maybe giving me room to ask more questions, he returns to his story. “Back to the bottom at the club. I saw total, exquisite surrender. And she looked…” He seems to search for words. “Blissed out. Later I learned that the endorphins, the pleasure/pain combination sent her into subspace.”
He makes the whole thing sound like a sensual journey.
“It wasn’t until later that I understood just how complex the entire dance truly was. I was fixated on watching her, and I missed the nuances of what the Top was doing.” He feathers his fingers into my hair. “Bored yet?”
“No. Not at all. I want to hear more.”
The fire hisses and pops around us.
“He was so controlled, so in tune with her that the rest of the world might have stopped and he would never have noticed. His body was covered with a sheen of sweat from the constant physical demands. He continually checked on her safety and well-being, especially after she stopped responding. It was…”
In silence, I wait.
“Awe-inspiring. I had to learn about it. Next time I was in New Orleans, I took a private class from the owner, Mistress Aviana. Every chance I had, I visited, learning, watching. After about a year, I was comfortable enough to play with a bottom on my own.”
And now I’m really curious… “You asked how the experience was for me.”
“Mmm.”
“Tell me how it was for you? I mean, I’ve never done anything like this before. Now I have to ask you. Was it boring for you? I mean, you’ve been with so many women who actually know what they’re doing. And they’re not as hesitant as I am.”
“You? Boring?” Once more, he captures my chin and holds my gaze. “On the contrary. Being with someone new, so excited to learn, to know that I’m their first? Their only? Hell, Allie. The experience was fucking sublime.”
I blink. “You can’t mean that.”
“Every word. What you gave me is a gift. One I will never take for granted. Thank you.”
“I…”
“Goddamn, you have the most delectable lips.”
