Page 28 of Slots & Sticks
“Who’s George?” I ask.
Camden’s eye flick to the console, then back to the road. “Oh, a friend of mine. He’s a comedian.”
“A… friend? I thought I knew all your friends.”
He fidgets in his seat. “I mean, notall. You have Mira, I have George.”
Interesting. Why would Camden keep this guy a secret? Unless they’re dating. They’re totally dating. They have to be. I’ll support Cam if they are, but I would also feel a little disappointed. That Camden didn’t tell me about his secret boyfriend, I mean. Which would be a perfectly reasonable thing to feel disappointed about, given how much time we’ve been spending together lately and how much I enjoyed cuddling him last night.
“Are you going to answer his call?”
His eyes repeat their path to and from the console. “Um…”
No way am I letting this opportunity get away from me. I tap the answer button on the console.
Camden makes a face. He seems more resigned than distressed. “Hey, Geo.”
There’s a slight Mediterranean accent to George’s voice. “Hi, just calling to see if you managed to get that surgery scheduled yet?”
My lips form the word,What?I turn to Camden. Oh, my God. Is he sick? Is he dying? Has he been carrying the burden of some horrible diagnosis without telling me while I hog the spotlight? Oh, no. That’s exactly what Mom used to do. Have I been awful? Am I going to lose him, too?
Camden catches my eye and shakes his head. “There’s no surgery. Geo, shut up. Now is not the time.”
“Did you decide not to go through with it? I thought you were first in line to get your lips sewed to Dot’s ass.” George laughs. He has a very nice laugh, low and musical in a way that probably encourages his audience to laugh along with him at shows.
“Dude,” Camden snaps. “She’s in the car.”
“Ah.” George makes a low humming sound. “I see. Well, hi, Dot. Nice to meet you, as it were.”
“Hi, George. Or should I call you Geo?”
“You can call me anything you like. Forgive my introduction. I was joking. You know how guys joke.”
“Not really.” Yes, I grew up surrounded by jocks, but I’m not sure why George would make this particular joke. Is he jealous that Camden has been spending so much time with me lately? Why else would the punchline of his greeting be a reference to Human Centipede?
Camden’s face contorts as George keeps talking.
“It’s more like an expression. A turn of phrase.”
“In reference to…?”
“Um…” George sounds like he regrets everything about this call.
Mira comes to his rescue. “Dot?”
I wave my hand at the door pocket. “Wait, Mira. We’re talking to George.”
“Dot, I think you should know…”
“Mira, I know you’re feeling a bit neglected, but can you wait a minute, please?”
“I really don’t think I can wait a minute.”
George asks, “Who’s Mira?”
I can’t very well tell him that Mira is the AI who has become my best friend over the course of the last few years.Well, you see, I have terrible social anxiety, and going out in public can be really stressful for me, and I suck at navigating new social interactions. While the rest of my friends have gotten married and advanced their careers, I’ve been floundering around and making friends with someone who’s equally compromised in the small talk department!
Yeah, no. George has already made things weird. Admitting that would not help my case.
