Page 97 of Savage Obsession
“Can I sit?” she asks.
I give a slight nod, keeping my attention on the concrete stones ahead of me. After a long moment of silence, I tilt my head and glance at her as she crosses one leg over the other. My brothers and I have run into each other out here, but I’ve never seen Jordyn here. Not that I would expect her to be. “What are you doing here?”
She stares at my parents’ graves and swallows. “Even though your father and my father had their problems, Jack was always kind to me the few times we met. Sometimes, I come out here to talk to him. I like to brag about something Cash did because I know he won’t. Sometimes, I come to tell on Cash when he’s being an ass. And sometimes, I talk about you guys.”
I stare at her, trying to decide whether she’s being serious or not, but she seems completely sincere. “What did you come to tell them tonight?”
Jordyn meets my gaze and holds it. “I came to tell them that their second-oldest son is about to lose the best thing that’s ever happened to him because he’s an idiot.”
I wince.
My stomach burns like it’s filled with acid. “Did you see her?”
I’ve wanted to check the cameras at Onyx to make sure she’s okay, but I’ve resisted. Barely.
She nods. “Yes. I stopped by to drop off a gift for her. A lipstick of mine that she really likes. To thank her for helping with dinner the other night.”
Shaking my head, I close my eyes and will myself to stay patient with my sister-in-law while she gets to the point.
“I knew something was wrong. She was busy, so we only got to talk briefly during her break. She started crying so hard she struggled to speak, so I took her into the bathroom to calm down while she freshened up. I could hardly look at her without tearing up myself. She’s heartbroken, Xander.”
Closing my eyes, I try to swallow past the tightness in my throat.
Her tears are because of me.
I caused them.
I’m supposed to be her man, her protector. Her Daddy. I’m the last reason she should ever have to cry, unless I’m spanking her ass for misbehaving, but I’d always make her feel better after.
Jordyn sighs. “I wondered if she had noticed your drinking habits. If she had concerns. I didn’t know about what she went through growing up. She told me a little about it tonight.”
Leaning forward, I rest my elbows on my knees and stare at the ground before me. “She deserves better.”
Jordyn nods. “She still does. She deserves everything. Women like her don’t come along every day.”
I half scoff and half laugh. “You think I don’t fucking know that? Quinn is…she’severything. Real. I don’t know anyone who could go through the shit she went through and still be as warm and kind and loving as she is. I just, I’ll never fucking understand how her mom could possibly choose anything over Quinn.”
It’s silent between us for a long time. Then, finally, Jordyn rises and turns to face me. “I don’t think you need to understand why her mom did what she did. I think you need to decide whetheryou’regoing to choose her first. I don’t blame you for using alcohol to get through all the bullshit that cunt Nicoladid to you. But Quinn isn’t Nicola. Quinn is a once-in-a-lifetime woman, and she’s in love with you.”
I stand and hold my hands up. “So what? Just quit drinking, and that’s all she wants? I can quit. For her, I won’t drink another fucking drop of alcohol in my life. There isn’t a question in my mind of what I would choose first. It’sQuinn. It willalwaysbe Quinn. She’s it, Jordyn. She’s… she’s my girl.”
Jordyn comes over to me and cups my face. “Your brothers and I will support you with that, however we can. But, Xander, I think you need to deal with the deeper issues that caused the drinking in the first place.”
Then she smiles sadly and touches my chest before she walks over to my parents’ headstone. She puts her hand on it, whispering something into the wind before she heads back to the SUV, where Caleb has been standing guard the entire time. He dips his chin at me before he climbs into the driver’s side and pulls away.
I stay for a long time after they leave, Jordyn’s words replaying in my mind.
How did I get so lost?
Before I met Nicola, I was unstoppable. Alcohol was something casual that I drank, usually with my brothers while we played poker. When things started going south with her, and she started disappearing and doing who-knows-what, I found myself in our hideous apartment, drowning myself in whiskey. And I let her take advantage of me.
Deep down, I knew she was using me. But I didn’t catch it quickly enough.
My dad’s last words to me float through my mind, clear as day, as if he’s right in front of me saying them to my face.
You’re a good man, Xander. You’re just a little lost right now. In time, you’ll figure out how to heal, and someone will love you as deeply as your mom loved me. I can hardly wait tomeet her; I already know she’s going to be the sunshine of this family. Don’t let her slip through your fingers because I can tell you from experience, my life wouldn’t have meant anything if I hadn’t met your mom.
My eyes burn, and I pinch the bridge of my nose, trying to control my emotions. Our parents’ marriage was the kind that people dream about having. It was what I strived for once I became an adult.
