Page 54 of Cold Feet
Confusion flickered across his face, followed by something that might have been hurt before he masked it with a careful neutrality. "Right," he said. "Of course."
The walk back to the house was silent, a new tension strung between us like high-voltage wire. I kept my arms wrapped tightly around myself, as if I could physically hold in the riot of emotions threatening to spill over. Cam maintained a respectful distance, hands in his pockets, eyes focused ahead.
I'd almost let him kiss me. Worse,I had wanted him to. Not for show, but for me. Because standing on that beach with Cam Murphy, bathed in the golden light of sunset, I'd felt something dangerously close to real.
I couldn’t do it again. I'd spent ten years trying to get over him after he'd walked away the first time, and I didn't have it in me to survive another Cam-shaped hole being torn through my heart when this charade inevitably ended. When the photo ops were completed, the contract signed, and the cameras stopped rolling, he'd move on to his next conquest, professional or otherwise. This connection between us would vanish into thin air, as if it had been nothing but a mirage. And I'd be left picking up the pieces of my professional reputation and my bruised heart, once again wondering if what had felt so true, so real to me had been completely one-sided – if I'd imagined the spark in his eyes when he looked at me, manufactured the electricity in his touch to satisfy some pathetic fantasy that had never quite died. The image I’d created of Cam was so powerful, so magnetic, it had even workedon me.
The moon was rising as we reached the deck, casting long silver shadows across the weathered boards. Inside, I could see my family gathered around the table, laughter spilling out through the open windows along with the warm glow of lights. Normal. Safe.Real.
Cam paused at the bottom of the steps. "Lana… I’m sorry, I…"
I shook my head, cutting him off before he could say whatever truth or lie was about to leave his lips. "Let's just get through this weekend, okay? Keep things simple."
He studied me for a long moment, then nodded once, his expression unreadable in the gathering darkness. "If that's what you want."
It wasn't what I wanted. Not even close. What Iwantedwas for Cam to take me in his arms on the beach and kiss me so hard I lost the ability to make good decisions. But it was what Ineededif I was going to survive this with my heart intact.
I climbed the steps without looking back, steeling myself to rejoin my family and pretend that everything was fine. That I hadn't just come dangerously close to crossing a line that would change everything.
That I wasn't already wondering what Cam's lips would have felt like against mine, ten years after I'd first tasted them and spent every night since trying to forget.
Chapter 10
The walk back to the beach house after our almost-kiss was excruciating. Cam and I walked to the house in silence, the only sound between us the soft thud of our footsteps on weathered wood and the distant rhythm of waves against the shore.
I'd nearly let him kiss me. Worse – I'd wanted him to. For one reckless moment on that moonlit beach, my body had remembered what it felt like to be close to Cam Murphy, and wanted more. My lips still tingled with the phantom sensation of a kiss that never happened. My skin burned where he had touched my cheek.
Now, as we approached the sliding glass doors that led back to the warm glow of family dinner, I tried to compose myself. To slip back into the armor of professionalism I'd been attempting and miserably failing to maintain since we'd arrived. But my hands were trembling slightly, and my heart refused to settle into its normal rhythm.
"Ready?" Cam asked, his voice low and careful, hand hovering near my lower back but not quite touching – a habit he'd developed over the last few days that somehow felt more intimate than actual contact. His eyes searched mine, and I wondered if he could see all the chaos swirling behind them.
I nodded, not trusting my voice, and plastered on what I hoped was a convincing smile as we stepped inside.
The family dinner table was exactly as we'd left it – my parents and brothers deep in conversation, Serena laughing at something Drake had said, plates of half-eaten key lime pie scattered across the table. For a surreal moment, it felt as if time had frozen while Cam and I had been on the beach, as if our almost-kiss existed in some parallel dimension that hadn't affected the normal flow of the evening at all.
"There they are!" my mother exclaimed, glancing up with a beaming smile. "We were starting to wonder if you two had decided to take alate swim."
"Just needed some air," I said, sliding into my empty seat and reaching for my abandoned wineglass with fingers that weren't quite steady. "It's a beautiful night."
"Gorgeous," Cam agreed, settling beside me with easy grace. "The Gulf is like glass tonight."
His voice betrayed nothing of what had almost happened between us. The almost-kiss, the charged moment, the question hanging in the air between us when I'd stepped away. He was the picture of relaxed contentment, smiling as my father launched into a story about a fishing trip gone wrong years ago.
Only I noticed the way his knuckles whitened slightly where he gripped his water glass, the slight tension in his shoulders as he leaned back in his chair. And I caught the flash of something unreadable in his eyes when they briefly met mine across the table.
And Zayne, apparently. My brother was watching us with narrowed eyes, his gaze flicking between Cam and me with suspicious precision. When our eyes met, he raised one eyebrow in silent question. I took a large gulp of wine, avoiding his scrutiny.
"Did you show Cam the boathouse?" Drake asked me, seemingly oblivious to the undercurrents below the table.
"Not yet," I said, grateful for the distraction. "Maybe tomorrow."
"If the weather holds, we could take the boat out," my father suggested, passing a plate of cookies that no one really needed after the key lime pie. "Show Cam some of our favorite fishing spots."
"That would be great," Cam replied with genuine enthusiasm. "I haven't been fishing in years."
"You'll love it," Drake said. "Dad knows all the secret spots where the redfish hide."
"It's settled then," my mother said happily. "Fishing tomorrow, bonfire tomorrow night. The rest of the family is coming back for s'mores and ghost stories."
