Page 101 of Cold Feet
I nodded, my throat tight. "Surprise!" I said weakly. "Yeah. This morning."
"Ouch." She winced in sympathy. "But he just found out too, right? That's what Logan said."
"That's what he claims." I couldn't keep the bitterness from my voice. I shrugged, trying for casual and missing by a mile. "I dunno, he wouldn't even look me in the eye during the meeting, which feels suspicious. It doesn't really matter. This was always temporary, right? The so-called engagement has served its purpose – the Redline deal is basically done. Unless the trade rumors kill it."
"You're full of it."
I blinked at her blunt response. "Excuse me?"
"You heard me." Coco crossed her arms, unmoved by my PR director glare. "This stopped being fake weeks ago, and we both know it. The question is, are you going to throw away something real because you're scared?"
"I'm not scared," I protested, my shoulders tensing. "I'm realistic. He's probably going to Montreal, Coco. It's... fine. Just business."
Coco's eyebrow arched elegantly. "I saw you two at the awards show. In the box with your folks. I saw your face when he scored that hat trick. That wasn't just business, Lana."
The memory of last night – watching Cam dominate the ice, the electricity between us afterward, his strong hands on my body, his mouth on mine – threatened to overwhelm me. I dug my nails into my palm, trying to stay present.
"It doesn't matter," I said finally. "Montreal's offering the deal of a lifetime. And why wouldn't he take it? It's an incredible opportunity."
"Has he said he's taking it?" Coco asked.
"He says he hasn't decided," I admitted, smoothing my blazer. "But it's Cam. Hockey is everything to him."
Coco set her water bottle down, leaning forward. "Can I ask you something? And I want an honest answer."
I nodded warily.
"Are you mad that he might leave, or are you mad that history's repeating itself?"
The question hit me like a body check, knocking the air from my lungs. "I – what do you mean?"
"I mean, are you really upset about Montreal, or are you upset because once again, Cam might choose hockey over you? Just like in college?"
I stared at her, speechless for a moment. "Is there a difference?"
"A huge one," she said gently. "One's about circumstances. The other's about your worth."
The insight hit uncomfortably close to home. I twisted the ring on my finger, feeling exposed. "Maybe both," I admitted quietly. "I just... I opened up to him. I let myself believe we could have something real. And then, not even twelve hours later, I get ambushed in a meeting and find out he's considering moving across the continent."
"Did he know about the offer when you were together last night?" Coco asked.
"He says he didn't."
"And you don't believe him?"
I hesitated. Below us, Cam took a shot that went wide of the net, something he rarely did. Coach Sully shouted something, and Cam nodded sharply, his movements stiff with frustration.
"I want to," I said finally. "But the timing..." I trailed off. "I don't know. It feels like the universe is playing some cosmic joke on me. Like the second I let myself be vulnerable, everything falls apart."
Coco reached over and squeezed my shoulder. "Look, I don't know exactly what happened between you two last night, but whatever it was? It wasn't fake. He risked your brother's wrath by declaring his love for you. And we both know how that could have gone."
I thought about Cam's words from our confrontation earlier:Last night was real. Everything I said, everything I felt – it was all real. I wanted to believe him. Wanted it more than I'd allowed myself to want anything in years.
"Even if that's true," I said slowly, "it doesn't change the reality. He has a career-making opportunity. I have my job here. The timing is all wrong – yet again."
"Or maybe the timing is exactly right. Maybe this is your chance to break the pattern. To choose each other despite the circumstances."
"I can't go to Montreal. I'm the youngest PR Director in the league, one of only a handful of women to ever hold the job. Jack Donnelly has been in my position for fifteen years in Montreal,and plans to be buried below his desk so he can still run comms after he dies." I tried to laugh, but it came out hollow. "Besides, I can't ask Cam to give up an opportunity like this for me."
