Page 60 of Single-Minded
“I think initially I assumed so because you came with Carter to the divorce party. When we first met, I didn’t feel even a flicker of interest on your part. There was the Sterno…”
“My manners were atrocious that night,” he says. “I apologize. I was struck mute by how distraught you looked, I couldn’t think of anything to say. It was odd, actually, I’m rarely at a loss for words. Lifetime spent in the hospitality industry, I suppose.”
“And then, there’s the calling everyonecher,from me to the construction workers to Carter…”
“That’s an old and fairly unbreakable family habit. I was teased unmercifully about it in college. I tried to stop when I was in school at Boston University, and eventually I just gave in. If it offends you, let me know and I’ll do my best to call you Alex instead. Or Dr. Wiggins, if you prefer.”
“I don’t mind it,” I say. “I actually find it sort of charming.” Very charming in the sense that it makes me go wobbly in the knees every time he says it. A tidbit I’ll be keeping to myself for now. “But you have to admit,” I say, “not a whole lot of straight guys call their head carpentercher.”
“Well, Scully is a very sweet guy.” He laughs.
“I’m sure he’s delightful,” I say.
“Is that it?” he asks. “Colloquialisms and man dates and Sterno? Nothing else?”
“You have to know that with everything that’s happened in the last few months, I’m seeing gay everywhere I look.”
“Gayvision. Gaydar. Gay-colored glasses, so to speak?”
“Exactly,” I say.
“So it wasn’t my dancing?”
“You’re a really good dancer.” I laugh. “Really good.”
He stands up, and extends his hand, “This is my favorite song,cher.Would you like to dance with me?”
I listen carefully for the song we danced to before, but this time instead of a bouncy Cajun beat it’s a slow, big band, crooner kind of song. Maybe Harry Connick Jr. Sort of timeless and romantic. I stand up to dance with him and he pulls me close.
“I think you’re full of it. I thought the other song we danced to was your favorite song.” I laugh. He holds me delicately, but his arms are strong and firm.
“You’re on to me,cher.I confess, any song that’s playing when I’m dancing with you is my favorite song.” I smile over his shoulder and he pulls me in a bit closer.
“So here it is,” he whispers in my ear. “Alex, I think I could be falling for you.”
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He pulls me closer still as my heart flutters wildly. “You’re smart and charming and a bit goofy, and tenderhearted, and incredibly compelling. Am I rambling? You’re beautiful, so beautiful. I can’t stop thinking about you.”
I don’t know what to say. “Thank you” doesn’t seem appropriate. I feel the same way, obviously, but I’m so terrified of being hurt or betrayed that there’s a part of me that just wants to shut this down, keep it on a professional level. On the other hand, my heart is practically jumping out of my chest.
He stops rocking and looks into my eyes. We’re inches apart and I’m mesmerized by the tiny flecks of indigo in his blue eyes. A girl could drown in those eyes. And it wouldn’t be the worst way to go.
“It’s too fast, isn’t it?” he says. “You’re just barely divorced and you were really hurt by it, and you probably don’t even want to think about maybe falling in love again someday.”
Falling in love? I’m not even positive I want to date. But I nod, still unsure of what to do.
“The trouble is, I can’t… stop thinking… about it. Falling.”
“You should be. You’re worried I’m going to push you over the side of the boat again, aren’t you,” I tease. He’s being so earnest and sweet, and I have no idea why I feel the need to crowbar in a little levity. I’m just scared out of mind.
“A little.” He smiles, and then his face grows serious. “You’re not saying much. Am I going too far with this?”
He’s looking at me intently, and I return his gaze, memorizing the cleft in his chin, the color of his eyelashes, the fullness of his lips.
I pause, almost afraid to answer. “No, it’s not too far.” He smiles at me, and begins to sway gently to the music again. My body follows his.
His hand presses tenderly at the small of my back, bringing me closer until our bodies are touching.
