Page 114 of Accidental Groom
He’s sitting beside me on the bed, his face pale with exhaustion, his eyes bloodshot, his lips parted. His thumb strokes my temple like it’s the only thing tethering him to the earth.
“You scared the hell out of me,” he says, his voice hoarse and tight. His forehead falls forward onto the side of mine.
“What… what happened?” I rasp. The raw, scratching pain in my throat is suddenly very real, and I bring my hand up to it as if it’ll help.
“You had to have a C-section under general,” he explains, but I remember that, remember the frantic talk as I walked in at thirty-six weeks already in labor, remember the panic when someone had saidshe’s breech. “Your… your blood pressure tanked just before they got her out. But they stabilized you. You’re okay.”
Before they got her out. You’re okay.
It slams into me as it repeats in my head, over and over, echoing?—
My breathing gets faster. “Where is she?—”
“She’s okay, she’s okay,” Harry says, realizing his mistake a moment too late. “Shh, deep breaths, darling. Breathe with me.”
“Where is she?” I repeat. Fuck his deep breaths.
“They’ll bring her in,” he says, taking my face in his hands. “She’s a little small, El, but she’s perfect. Healthy. She’ll need to stay in the NICU for a week, just as a precaution, but she’s good. She’s beautiful. She came out kicking like hell.”
I choke.
“Breathe,” he rasps, softer this time. His thumbs stroke beneath my eyes, wiping tears I didn’t even realize were there. “Don’t pass out on me again.”
I try to force myself to take slower, deeper breaths, but god, it’shard. Breathing itself hurts when my throat feels like it’s on fire, but the mention of the NICU makes me shake.
“Look,” he says softly, tilting my head carefully in the direction of the door. “Look, they’ve got her.”
Behind him, a nurse steps forward with a yellow bundle in her arms, and Harry shifts carefully. “She’s awake,” he says to her, swallowing. “Can she hold her?”
“Of course,” she grins. “She’s a little fragile, so be extra gentle.”
Harry delicately takes her into his arms, turning just enough that I can see a bit of skin beneath a pink little cap, and I choke on a sob before I’ve even seen her face.
“Ready to meet her?” he asks, his smile soft as he looks down at me. The nurse is already on me, popping the buttons at the top of my hospital gown so I have a bit of skin on show.
I nod, my throat too tight to speak.
He settles her gently onto the skin of my chest, her bare cheek resting against my collarbone, and I swear the whole world tilts on its axis.
Little wisps of dark hair poke out from beneath the cap. Her face is scrunched, wrinkly, but perfect, her eyes closed, the rest of her wrapped tightly and carefully to keep her warm. My hands instinctively come up, cupping the back of her head and her bum, holding her in place.
She lets out the faintest little sigh, and I sob in return. It’s like she already knows me, and I, her. Like she’shome.
“Hi,” I whisper, my voice cracking right open. “Hi, Clementine.”
Harry settles back against the raised bed, one arm curled protectively around both of us, the other hand brushing back my hair from my damp forehead.
“Look what wemade,” he rasps, but I catch the break in his voice. His hand comes up, his thumb gentle as he strokes her cheek. “She’s perfect. You’re perfect.”
All I can do is nod, my gaze locked on her. I don’t think I could look away if I tried.
“I love you,” he murmurs, pressing a kiss to my temple, his mouth lingering before his forehead drops onto the top of my head. “I love you both.”
“I love you too,” I whisper.
Later, when Clem’s in an incubator to the side of my bed and I’m cleaner and a little more mentally stable, Mary and Dr. Frasier trail in behind Harry. But I’m still just watching her, watching as her little fist closes and opens, aching with how badly I want her back on my chest.
“Congratulations,” Mary chirps, grinning as she steps fully into my field of vision. “Dr. Frasier and I will be handling your aftercare, as I’m sure you guessed.”
