Page 27 of Love on the Brain
“I did,” Jane said. “So I get to decide what to call it.”
Ryan shook his head. “That might work in Maine—or Florida, like when we were in school—but you’re in Texas now, darlin’.” He drawled the last few words in an overexaggerated accent, standing up and walking around the kitchen island. He plucked a cowboy hat from a peg on the wall and set it on his head, then tipped up the brim as he neared her.
“This Yankee reserves the right to call it what she pleases. Besides, there’s no cream cheese or sour cream in it. That would be an abomination.” She booped him on the nose.“Y’allwill just have to cool your jets and deal with it.”
“Mommy, you sound weird when you talk Texas,” Noah observed.
Ryan laughed and set the hat on Jane’s head, charmed at her attempt to mimic him, like she used to, once upon a time. It had always been endearing. “Ah think she sounds niiiiice. Say some more in that fine accent.”
Noah wrinkled his nose, and Jane just shook her head. “Maybe latah, pahdnah.”
Ryan snorted. “Your Texas accent has a Boston accent.”
She blew a raspberry with her tongue and walked away, setting the hat on Noah and waving goodbye to the amused older couples on the screen as she left the room. Before she disappeared out of sight down the hall leading to the bedrooms, she turned around and shot him a playful wink.
Cool your jets indeed, Engstrom,Ryan advised himself.
* * *
Later that night,the power was still on, but an edgy frustration permeated Ryan’s nerves. Something seemed off, but he couldn’t pinpoint anything specific.
Jane emerged from the hall. “He’s out of the tub and ready for us to hook him up and say good night.”
Ryan followed her back to the guest bedroom, where Noah was nesting in a blanket and pillow cocoon.
“Uncle Ryan, do I have to sleep with the wires again tonight?”
“Yeah, buddy. Just one more night, okay? Until we’re sure your medicines are doing their job.”
Jane placed the cardiac patches on Noah’s torso and buttoned the flannel nightshirt around the lead wires. She checked the machines to confirm everything was in place and working.
“Just slide this on your finger for me—okay, you got it. You’re a pro, kiddo.”
Noah sighed. “I guess I can do one more night. It’s hard to sleep still. Can I say good night to Daddy now?”
For the third night in a row, Ryan had been invited into their routine. Each time he saw the video of Casey, his heart cracked a little, and an almost crippling guilt seeped in as he was reminded how he hadn’t been there for Casey’s second bout and ultimate decline.
He’d thought Casey looked off at his and Sunny’s wedding that summer, but she’d kept him so busy and they’d never had time to talk for more than a few minutes at a time. A month later, on the day he was offered the neurosurgical apprenticeship, Casey had called him and reported the cancer was back and it had metastasized. Now wed, he thought it prudent to discuss his thoughts with Sunny, and she was adamantly against Ryan giving up the opportunity. She’d insisted that he take the job—it must be God’s plan if it fell into his lap, and besides, they were newlyweds and she needed him home, not disappearing off to New England every time Casey had a setback. Surely, he would beat it like he had the first time.
Ryan hadn’t felt good about the decision. He’d always felt that friends were more important than careers, but he’d let Sunny convince him otherwise. He had to honor his wife’s request because that’s what a good husband did.
How he’d regretted it. Caseyhadn’tbeen okay,hadn’tbeaten it, and he was gone before Ryan could even come to visit once. His parents and Wes traveled with him and Sunny to Maine for the funeral, along with dozens of the Allens’ relatives and a good number of friends and people from church. Ryan had been given the honor of writing the eulogy, and to this day all he could think about was how he hadn’t been there at the end, when Casey and his family needed him most.
All because Sunny had demanded it.
But … God always has a way of turning wrongs to rights.Romans 8:28. And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.If he hadn’t taken the surgery apprenticeship, he wouldn’t be at a point in his career where he could help Noah. He hated that he had to miss one to help the other, but life was like that.
Ryan sat on the edge of the bed by Noah’s head so he could watch the video on Jane’s phone.
A sickly Casey greeted his son with a smile. “Hey buddy. I hope you had an amazing and awesome day and learned something new. Want to tell me about it?”
Jane paused the video, and Noah spoke about the car puzzle and not having cancer and Mommy talking funny like Texas.
He pressed play for the next part, and Casey continued. “Anything sad happen today? Anything you want to pray about? I can talk to God for you if you have a special request.”
Noah glanced up at Ryan, then turned back to the screen. “I guess. Can you please just ask God to help Uncle Ryan make the plan to fix my head?”
Jane turned away, her hand covering her mouth. Her eyes blinked rapidly, and Ryan wanted to reach across Noah to comfort her, but the boy hadn’t noticed, and he didn’t want to redirect his attention.
