Page 24 of Love on the Brain
Since Casey died.
Was this nightmare a sign that she shouldn’t have kissed Ryan? If it wasn’t, what else could it be? Was God sending a message that it was too soon to consider starting a new relationship? Or was it because Ryan wasn’t the right person for her?
She tensed, suddenly hyperaware of Ryan’s physical attributes. The soft feel of his skin over hard biceps that cradled her. The firm torso, separated from hers by two thin layers of fabric. Thoughts of her first impression of him twelve years ago fought to be heard.Handsome. Strong. Hot.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered, hiccupping as she pulled away from him ever so slightly. “So sorry … sorry to … wake you.”
“I’m glad I can be here for you. I wasn’t there when he died, and I’ll always regret that. But I’m here for you now, Jane. Anytime you want me,everytime you want me. I am fully in charge of my own life again.”
Forget about pulling away. Jane leaned in and clung to him. She hadn’t been there when Casey died, either. His heart had restarted in the ambulance, but by the time they’d reached the hospital, there hadn’t been anything more anyone could do.
“Thank you.” In Ryan’s arms, she felt safe, secure.
She didn’t want him to let go.
But as her body and mind calmed, the questions and doubts invaded her brain once again.
Was a more-than-friends relationship with her husband’s best friend really a good idea? Maybe she needed time to consider all the pros and cons. Besides, Noah needed her right now, and she—they—needed to focus on his recovery, once they knew what they were dealing with.
“Is Noah—” Her voice broke.
“Still sleeping.” Ryan rocked her back and forth, back and forth.
Jane pressed her fingers against her throbbing forehead. Hangover, nightmare, combo of both, she didn’t know, but the pain was almost blinding. Perhaps her penance for some wrongdoing?
No, Jane. God isn’t vengeful. The enemy is trying to make you believe his lies. Don’t fall for it.
The voice in her head was right. But still…
“Can I get you something for your headache?” Ryan asked.
Jane nodded. “Thanks.” He eased himself away from her, but she remained hunched over, holding her head in her hands until he returned. She placed the pills on her tongue and drank the entire glass of water.
The cold water made her aware that the house was cold. She pulled the heavy comforter up around her shoulder. “The storm?” she asked, shivering. “Is the heat on?”
“Still snowing. Not too bad yet. Heat’s on. I checked the thermostat. It’s seventy-two degrees in here.”
“Sure doesn’t feel like seventy-two,” she mumbled.
Ryan sat down on the edge of the bed beside her again and opened his arms. She fell into them and his warmth. Despite only wearing a T-shirt and pajama pants, he felt like a furnace.
“You’re so warm.” She burrowed into his chest. “Can you stay with me till I warm up?”
“Of course.”
Jane closed her eyes and relaxed into him, falling into a deep, dreamless slumber.
* * *
“What time is it?”
Ryan glanced at the last-century old-school alarm clock on the nightstand. “Just after 9 a.m. Are you hungry? Need coffee?”
“Yes and yes. But I don’t want to move.” She dared a glance at him to gauge his reaction and was disappointed when he frowned. “What is it?”
He debated not telling her, but Jane was perceptive and he didn’t want to lie. “My back is cramping.”
Jane scooted over on the bed, out from his embrace, and he regretted his admission immediately. “Sorry. That is a weird position to be in for hours,” she said sheepishly. “Thanks for … comforting me.”
