Page 23 of Love on the Brain
He needed to slow down his thoughts. His brain was thinking like it was a guarantee, that they’d feel the same way tomorrow, that it wasn’t just the whiskey talking.
He’d think about all that later.
Right now, the lady wanted to be kissed properly.
“You’re staring,” Jane scolded.
“Hard not to,” he said softly. He moved her ponytail over her shoulder and cradled her face in his hands, slowly lowering his mouth to hers. Her soft lips tasted like cinnamon, and he wanted more.
Jane’s arms wrapped around his neck, and he let his hands fall to her waist. Hugging her close, he continued to kiss her, and when her lips parted, he deepened the kiss. A euphoria took over, blurring his thoughts and causing micro explosions all throughout his insides.
He could kiss her like this forever. Hewantedto kiss her like this forever.
When she pulled away, it was too soon. He’d known it would be. And now that the line of friendship had been crossed, there was no way he could go back to only being her friend.
The taste of something more, this forbidden fruit, would haunt him if he couldn’t have it forever.
“Good night, Ryan,” she whispered, lifting up on her toes to place a soft, chaste kiss to his lips.
“Good night, Jane.” He watched her until she disappeared down the hall to his bedroom, then sank down into the couch.
On the baby monitor, Noah slept peacefully in the guest bed, surrounded by pillows and stuffed animals his grandparents had brought over.
As he cleaned up the s’mores and returned the pillows to the sectional, Ryan had never felt so complete, so filled, so full of joy. And as he dozed off, he prayed for their futures and hoped with all his heart God would find a way to heal Noah and bring them all together.
CHAPTER7
“Ilove you, Jane. I’m so sorry. I don’t want to leave you.”
Casey’s voice was faint as he struggled to keep his eyes open. Pain and anguish were evident in his now-gaunt face, and the color had faded to a deathly pallor.
Snuggled up next to him in the crook of his arm, an almost three-year-old Noah napped peacefully, blissfully unaware that his father was about to take his last breath.
Jane was aware that his last gasp for air could come at any moment. With her nursing experience, she knew the signs. But she still prayed for a miracle.
Please, God. Please don’t take him from us.
“I’m … so sorry. Tell Noah … his daddy loves him.”
“No!” Jane cried. “You’re not done yet! WE’RE not done yet! Nooo!” She squeezed his hand as his eyes closed again. “No! DO NOT LEAVE US, Casey! Not yet! Not … yet…” She kissed his lips fervently, trying to warm them up. She breathed into him, giving him her breath, forcing air into his lungs.
But it wasn’t enough. His lungs ceased to work on their own, his heart thumped its last beat, and Jane’s world would never be the same.
“No!” she cried, lying over him. “NO!”
Behind her, she barely registered her father pulling her back until she was enveloped in his arms. “Daddy, you gotta pray more. Pray harder! Please!”
Noah began to cry as Connie lifted him from Casey’s side and into her arms. She rubbed his back and rocked him, but his wails persisted, as if he understood his daddy was never waking up, would never hold him or play with him again.
The EMTs arrived, and Jane cried even harder as they tried to resuscitate Casey, but in her heart, she knew he wouldn’t be coming back to their little home.
“Don’t leave us! Don’t leave us! Please, God, don’t take him! Don’t take him … don’t take him … don’t take him…”
“Jane. It’s okay, Jane. Shh … you’re having a nightmare. It’s okay. It’s okay.”
As she came out of the dream, strong arms connected to the deep, soothing voice held her. But they weren’t her father’s arms or his voice. Where was she? As her head cleared, Jane recognized the familiar, comforting scent of Ryan’s three-in-one shower soap. Always efficient, constant since the day she met him, he was.
She cried into his T-shirt, sobbing and shuddering, her head pounding. It’d been so long since she’d had this nightmare. What had triggered it? Could it have been the kisses? She hadn’t kissed anyone since … since…
