Page 5 of Love on the Brain
She handed him the muffin and leaned back in the chair, closing her eyes and gripping the edges of the plate like a steering wheel in heavy traffic.
Ryan picked off a piece of the muffin and ate it slowly, giving her time to process whatever it was she was thinking about or tuning out. He thought back to their conversation the previous morning and realized she probably hadn’t slept in over twenty-four hours.
“When are you planning to sleep?” he asked quietly. “I can watch Noah this afternoon, if you need me to.” They were due at the hospital at 5 a.m. the next morning. She’d be up all night making sure everything was ready to go.
“Thanks, but Molly and Beverly are going to take him and Jamie to the resort for a carriage ride through the trails. Everyone else is going back to work after this. Well, except you and Casey’s parents. You all should go, too.”
“They’d like that. But who’s making sure you’re okay?”
She closed her eyes again, pressing them shut tightly as moisture pooled at her lashes. “I’m fine, Ryan. Or at least I will be once this is done.”
“Jane, are you prepared for—”
“Don’t even go there.” Her eyes snapped open and glared at him, the fingers of her right hand twisting the rings on her left. “Do not put a voice to my greatest fear. I will not let the universe hear it.”
“Jane—”
“No,” she repeated, shaking her head. “Please,” she pleaded. “I’m going to have a million questions tomorrow. Can today just be as normal as possible? Please?”
There was nothing normal about today, but Ryan would respect her request. And he’d follow her home to make sure she rested up for what he was sure would be a bigger battle than she anticipated.
CHAPTER2
The small waiting room was full. Jane, flanked by Shelby and Ryan, felt the claustrophobia set in.
To her right, Molly and Damon discussed plans for a wedding week in Savannah, and across from them, Connie and Dale read on tablets. Missing from the group were her dad and Beverly Dalton, who’d left for the second time to “get coffee.”
Jane couldn’t sit any longer. The window of time the surgeon estimated had long since come and gone, and even Ryan kept glancing up at the clock.
It couldn’t be a good sign when your neurosurgeon friend was showing signs of agitation.
“I’m going for a walk,” she announced, pushing herself to her feet. She plucked her wristlet and hospital badge out of her purse in case she needed her ID or money and crossed the room in long strides.
The door opened without any resistance, and she almost bowled her father over. “Sorry, Dad!”
He reached out to steady her, but she’d already started to adjust her position, and his light touch on her arm was enough to tip her backward.
“Oof!” Strong arms encased her from behind, and she fell back against a solid wall of muscle.
“I got you,” Ryan said, his voice low and soothing.
For perhaps a second too long, she relaxed into him.
It felt good to be held.
She swallowed. “Thanks.” She straightened herself and smoothed down her sweater over the waistband of her long floral skirt. “I’ll be back soon.”
Scooting around her dad and Beverly, she hurried out and turned right toward the pediatric operating rooms. She’d use her badge to gain entry and find a nurse that could update—
“Jane, wait.”
She froze, her shoes squeaking on the polished tile floor. Cradling her arms to her midsection, she waited for Ryan to catch up.
“Why is it taking so long? They’re late. Which means something is wrong.” She turned to face him. “It’s bad, isn’t it?” Her voice sounded hollow, like it hadn’t come from her at all.
“No,” he said, cupping his hands on her shoulders. “Look at me.”
Lifting her chin, she met his gaze. “What if it’s too late? For months, I ignored signs. I should have paid more attention when he said he had a headache. I should have had every test run as a precaution. What kind of mother lets that kind of stuff go?” Her shoulders sagged, and her chin dropped to her chest.The worst kind of mother,her inner voice accused.
