Page 41 of Love on the Brain
It was a good thing she was going back to Connie and Dale’s tomorrow.
As the water boiled, she wandered over to his bookshelf. A familiar spine had caught her eye. She’d made a digital photo album of her college years after graduation and gifted Ryan a copy. Pictures of old friends from the campus ministry smiled back at her as she thumbed through the pages.
“Remember when you got stuck in the middle of the zipline?” Ryan asked. She looked up to see his eyes glinting with mischief.
Jane laughed. “Marnier Clifton was determined to rescue me. Only he was afraid of heights.”
“There’s no limit to what a man in love will do to rescue the woman he loves.” She met his gaze. He said it teasingly, but she felt meaning behind it.
Get yourself together, Jane.She forced a laugh. “He didn’t love me. He just thought he did. Once I mentioned Leilani was crushing after him—hard—he was gone.” She grinned. “They just celebrated their tenth anniversary.” She’d seen the pictures on social media and had congratulated them.
“I miss those times,” Ryan said. “Life was less … complicated back then. Unblemished. Before tragedies hit.”
Jane nodded and flipped through more pages. Even after her mother died, this group had experienced wonderful things. They’d been tight. Since Casey died, she’d all but lost contact. She hadn’t had time for anything but work, church, and Noah.
Her father’s words at Casey’s funeral rushed back to her.To despair is to be without hope. God will never turn his back on us. Our loved ones are never gone. We are blessed with memories. Never speak of your loved ones in the past tense, for they are always with you. They are NEVER GONE so long as they are remembered. Do not ignore your sadness, but be consoled and comforted by the promise. The Lord is in our midst and embracing our prayers.
By the time the kettle began to whistle, she had two mugs prepped with tea bags and sugar. One each. She poured the water and topped it with an ounce of the fire whiskey before stirring the mixtures.
Ryan reached across the counter and picked up one of the mugs and held it in the air. “To facing fears,” he said softly.
Jane touched her mug to his. “Amen,” she whispered.
They sipped their tea in silence. She didn’t want to be the one to talk first, but her desire to settle plans for the next day won out. “What time do you work tomorrow?”
“I’m on call eleven to seven.”
Jane nodded. “I told Connie to come by late morning to bring us over there.”
Ryan frowned. “If I don’t get called in, I could bring you over. You fly out Sunday, right?”
“Yes,” Jane said, realizing how little time she had left with Ryan and wondering why it suddenly bothered her. “They’ll bring us to the airport straight from church.”
Ryan nodded and sipped. Jane mirrored his actions, unsure of what else to say. For the first time ever, she felt both uneasy and agitated in his presence.
Everything about everything was so wrong right now. As she sipped, she prayed for clarity and strength for Noah—and for whatever was happening between her and Ryan.
Because her feelings were shifting, she was sure of that. What she could do about it, she had no idea.
CHAPTER12
By the time Noah awoke Saturday morning, Jane had all their stuff packed and set out next to the front door, save for his pajamas and toiletries. She’d been anxious to get back to Connie and Dale’s, but seeing all their stuff ready to go … her heart ached a little to be leaving Ryan’s house.
Seeing him this much was like going back in time. They’d picked up right where they’d left off, and Jane felt their friendship seemed solid again. She’d missed him these last couple of years. When he and Sunny married, their friendship hadn’t been the same. And it shouldn’t have been—of course he would put Sunny and her wishes first, even if that meant putting Jane and Casey at the bottom of the list. But Jane hadn’t expected the total lapse in communication. If it weren’t for the “likes” on her social media posts, she might have wondered if he even wanted to be friends anymore. Even Casey had remarked on Ryan’s absence during the final months of his life.
The sound of little-boy giggles drifted to her from the hall, followed by a very poorly done neighing. She turned to find Ryan on his hands and knees with Noah riding on his back, Ryan’s overlarge cowboy hat perched on Noah’s head, and was overcome with emotion.
“Mommy! Uncle Ryan said since I can’t ride in the McNagster, he could pretend to be a race car. But he moves slower than a horse!”
“Neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeigh!” Ryan reached over his shoulder to grasp Noah’s hand and sat back on his feet, in a “rearing up” position.
Jane laughed and shook her head. “I can see that. Are you ready to go to Mimi and Poppy’s?”
Noah frowned. “I guess. But can Uncle Ryan come, too?”
Jane swallowed and nodded. “Of course.”
“Yay! Giddy-up, horsey!”
