Page 39 of Love on the Brain
Ryan stole a glance at Jane, who quickly stuffed her hands into her pockets. “I think she’s okay,” he said to Noah.
“Good. And you got me, right?”
“Oh yeah, I got you. Anytime you want me.”
“Good.” Noah sighed. “I love you, Uncle Ryan.”
Ryan’s heart squeezed. “I love you too, buddy.”
After the short tour, they reached the kitchen. Cruz introduced them to the other firefighters and brought Noah a box of cookies. “So you wanna hear the story of why I don’t like ambulances?” he asked Noah.
“Is it because of my daddy?”
“No, but he’s part of the story, indirectly.” Cruz exchanged a grin with Ryan. “It all started when I was a little boy about your age. One night, I woke up to a siren and ran to my window. Outside, an ambulance was parked across the street, helping my neighbor. My mama came into my room and put me back to bed and said everything was okay. But I dreamed about the ambulance. It was chasing me! All the way home from school. As I ran, I thought, it can’t go on the grass, right? So I ran onto the grass. When I looked back, the ambulance transformed into a giant armadillo!”
“No!” Noah shouted. “Did it catch you?”
“Almost!” Cruz whistled. “I was fast. I ran into my house just in time! But you want to know the funniest part?”
“Yes!” Noah wiggled in Ryan’s arms.
“Soon after, my mama signed me up for baseball. Guess who was on my team?”
“My daddy?”
“Yes. And Ryan. And guess what the name of our team was?”
Noah shrugged. “What?”
“The Armadillos!”
“No!” Noah’s giggle was contagious, and everyone in the kitchen joined in.
“Yes! Every time I get into an ambulance, I think of it turning into an armadillo.” He shook his head. “Crazy, right?”
“I think it’s silly. Armadillos are funny-looking,” Noah said. “Definitely not scary.”
“Maybe for you,” Cruz said, wiping his brow. “But for me … uh-uh. No, thank you!”
Noah continued to giggle, and Ryan hoped with all his heart that this experience took away some of his fear.
* * *
The way Noahlet Ryan hold him, rested his head on his shoulder, and fully and completely trusted him made Jane want to both silently cheer and cry at the same time.
When Noah yawned, Jane glanced at the clock. Long past his bedtime.
“We should get him to bed,” she said to Ryan when there was a pause in the conversation.
They said their goodbyes and thanked the firefighters and EMTs. By the time Ryan buckled Noah into his booster, his eyes were drooping.
As Ryan turned his truck around, Jane cast a glance over her shoulder to make sure Noah was asleep. “Thank you for taking us here. It was good, but I know it was hard for him.”
“Only for him?” Ryan asked gently.
Jane leaned her head on the frigid window and watched the dimly lit icy scenery blur by. She didn’t want to admit she still struggled with post-traumatic stress over her last moments with Casey. “Every time I hear that sound, it comes back.”
The familiar weight of his hand on her shoulder reminded her that she wasn’t alone in grieving Casey. Ryan might not have been there when he died, but she knew he felt the loss like he would if it had been Wes. Ryan had been closer to Casey than he and Wes had ever been, and he’d had to give the eulogy. That had taken incredible strength.
