Page 16 of Love on the Brain
A tremor of emotion passed through him as he scrubbed up.Get it together, Engstrom.That sweet boy on the table needed him to be at his best.God, steady my hands and guide them.
Ryan led the surgical team, positioned Noah into place and arranged the drape cloth. The little guy was depending on him, and letting him down wasn’t an option.
Ryan had performed more surgeries on children than he could count. He was highly skilled in his specialty, experienced, and respected by his peers all over the world. His colleagues and patients trusted him. He had to push past the feeling that this one was different. Under the drape cloth, Noah was like any other patient.
When Noah was set, the team looked at him for direction and guidance. He gave the directive and reached for the scalpel. A wave of nerves passed through him, and he paused. Tears stung his eyes, but he knew what he had to do.
Taking a deep breath, Ryan pressed the scalpel into Noah’s skin. He felt sick to his stomach, but his hands were steady.
The tumor was just as complex as Dr. Huntley had explained, wrapped like a ribbon around the carotid artery. A millimeter’s slip could have devastating consequences. Ever so carefully, Ryan probed and, by God’s grace only, found a spot that was thicker than anywhere else.
Steady hands… got it.
Ryan exhaled, willing his heart rate to slow as he extracted the tissue, aware of the life-threatening proximity to the artery. He placed the specimen on the tray and set his tools down, exhaling slowly as his heart rate kicked into overspeed.
Get it together. Compartmentalize.
He shuddered, and his body began to shake. Ryan stared at his hands in disbelief.
Dr. Vargas, the vascular surgeon, shot him a hard glare.
Ryan needed a minute.
“Shall I close him up?” Dr. Moreira, Ryan’s protégé, asked.
“Yeah. Thanks.” Ryan looked down at his gloves, stained with Noah’s blood. If he was going to go back in at some point to get the rest of the tumor, he had to get ahold of his emotions.
Noah’s life depended on his steady hands.
CHAPTER6
Jane sprang from her seat as the curtain opened and Noah’s bed was wheeled in. Her little boy looked even smaller surrounded by the pillows and rolled-up blankets positioning him.
“Everything went according to plan,” Ryan said. “We’ll keep him overnight for observation, but I don’t foresee any issues.”
Jane looked up into his heavy-lidded eyes. He looked exhausted. “Thank you.”
“There’s one more thing … I don’t know if you’ve heard the weather report?” Jane shook her head. “The snow forecast to arrive tomorrow has been upgraded to an ice storm. If anything should happen, like a seizure or some other unexpected side effects, Dale and Connie’s house is too far from here.”
“Can’t he just stay in the hospital another night?” Jane asked, hugging herself, wondering why he was telling her this. Was he trying to make her more worried?
“No. But I’d like to keep him at my house, if that’s all right with you. I’m off the next two days. I have a generator and a gas stove, medical supplies. I can grab a baby monitor, too. The two of us together have a lot to offer him, should something happen.”
Jane tore her eyes from Ryan and looked upon Noah. “Sure. I, um, only packed clothes for one night for us. To stay here. I’ll ask Connie and Dale if they can bring the rest of our stuff over to your house.”
“Okay.” Ryan blew out a breath. “I’m going to finish up my report and change and I’ll meet you up in his room.” He leaned toward her and gave her a side hug.
She wrapped her arms around his waist and squeezed. “Okay.”
It felt like forever waiting for Noah to wake up. When his eyes began to flutter, Jane used every ounce of her self-control not to cry. She wanted to be cheerful for him so he’d believe her when she said everything was going to be okay.
“Hey baby,” she whispered, pressing her lips to his forehead.
“Not … a baby,” he muttered.
“No,” she acquiesced. “You’re a big boy. But you’ll always bemybaby.”
“Grown-ups are weird.”
