Page 118 of Dustwalker
“It reached a scale and scope beyond anything humanity could’ve imagined. No corner of the world was left unaffected, and no life escaped unscathed.”
Ronin combed his fingers carefully through her hair along her back. “It was terrible. I see faces, sometimes. Glimpses into my damaged memories. All the people and bots I’ve ended.”
She glanced up at him, frowning. “So…you remember stuff from before the Blackout?”
“Only flickers. Still images of death and deactivation.”
Lara swung her gaze back to Newton. “Could he ever regain the rest?”
“Though not impossible, it is improbable. They had the necessary equipment at the Air Force Base, but there is no guarantee it’s still operable, or that his data is not corrupted beyond recovery.”
“I don’t think I wantit back,” Ronin said, drawing her attention back to him.
“Why?” Lara asked.
“What’s waiting for me in those memories?” He raised his free hand and scratched his cheek. “Pain, loss, the reminder of all the terrible acts I witnessed and committed? If I cared about anyone in that life, they’re gone now.”
Lara winced.
Ronin turned his body toward her and captured her face between his hands, forcing her eyes to meet his. “What I have with you, Lara, has brought me more contentment than anything else ever could. The memories I’m making with you render everything before meaningless.”
Heart quickening, she desperately searched his gaze. “What if there was someone who you…you felt the same about as you do for me, but you forgot them?”
“If I ever felt the same about anyone, I would never have forgotten. Youare burned into every circuit, embedded in every bit of data. You are part of my core functions now.”
She covered his hands with her own and leaned her forehead against his, closing her eyes.
How had she come to needhim in so short a time? Ronin had worked his way into every part of her being. When he’d pushed her away, when he’d distanced himself because of his own pain, she’d felt it in her soul. She needed him, needed his solid, unwavering presence, his patience, his thoughtfulness. She craved his touch not just for passion and pleasure, but for comfort.
Tabitha leaving home, leaving Lara, had been painful, and her death had left a hole in Lara’s heart that would never heal.
But Lara wasn’t sure she’d survive losing Ronin.
“The two of us left Cheyenne so we could be together.” She opened her eyes, letting them linger on Ronin briefly before drawing back and looking at Newton. “My sister went to live with a bot, and Warlord killed them both. Then he gave Ronin a chance to prove himself by killing me.”
“We never hypothesized that the transferal of his consciousness would be the catalyst for his loss of humanity,” Newton said softly, frowning. “Our aim was to diminish suffering, never to cause it.”
“Can he be stopped?”
Newton nodded. “The same as anyone else.”
“Then why hasn’t he been?” she demanded, fire sparking in her belly. So much suffering, fear, and death had been caused by a single person, by that monster, and she couldn’t bear it. “You turned him on. Why didn’t you turn him off?”
“Were he still human, and I merely the physician who treated him after a terrible injury, would you ask that question of me?”
“Yes!”
His metallic frown deepened, and his body sagged. “I am no fighter. My directive, my goal, my desire, was to assist the world’s recovery, but in that I have failed utterly. In Cheyenne, especially, my intervention has only heightened people’s suffering. That’s why I’ve been here. Perhaps at one point, I believed I could do it. Believed I could end him. After hearing rumors of what he’s done…
“But I am not designed to destroy, Lara. So, I’ve lain here for years, hiding from the world I wanted to help. A world my own actions helped to create.”
“Why not get someone else to help, then? Someone to do the dirty work and end some of this suffering? But no, you just sat here, rusting away while he killed people. Not just humans, but everyone!” She glared at him, chest heaving, but her inner fire snuffed out as realization dawned on her. “And we…just left them too.”
Hanging her head, she stabbed her fingers into her hair and tugged it back with a growl. Tears stung her eyes. “Fuck, we just left them, Ronin.”
Ronin wrapped his arms around Lara and pulled her into his embrace. His hold was gentle, but firm. “You know nothing is ever that simple.”
“Bad humans get punished. Why not bots, too?”
