Page 107 of Dustwalker
“The Dust is only one piece of this world. A big one, to be certain, but there are much worse places. Places that would kill you if you went too close.”
Lara nuzzled her cheek against him. “As long as I’m with you, I don’t care which parts we skip.”
Her words drifted away on the wind, and she and Ronin walked in comfortable silence for a long while. Lara’s eyelids were heavy, and her legs grew more so with each step. His hold on her tightened as she gradually sagged against him.
“How did you learn to dance the way you do, Lara?”
His question jarred her out of near-sleep, and her tired mind struggled to understand what he’d asked.
“When I was little, I saw a woman dancing outside her shack. I spied on her, like you did to me. I didn’t know what to make of it, only that it looked beautiful. So, I started doing it, too, copying her poses, matching her movements. Then I started practicing on my own. I quickly learned that it was a way not only to express myself, but to escape from reality, if only for a little bit. And I felt so…free. I loved it.”
“People dance at places like Kitty’s, but I’ve never seen anyone dance like you.”
“Places like Kitty’s, huh?” That nauseating weight returned to her belly, and a fire sparked in her chest. How many women had he watched?
How many of them had he…fucked?
“Most settlements have similar establishments,” Ronin said. “Never held much interest for me. They usually look so…lifeless on stage.”
“Probably not so lifeless in bed,” Lara muttered.
She didn’t like this feeling, this jealousy, but it wouldn’t go away. All she could imagine now was Ronin’s body moving between someone else’s thighs, him touching them with those strong, gentle hands and passionately kissing them, like he’d kissed her.
Had Ronin had the same connection with another woman as he shared with Lara? Had he…loved them?
Clenching her teeth, she pulled away from him. Lara knew she had no right to be upset about his past, but she couldn’t stand the thought of him making love to another person.
Ronin didn’t let her get far before he drew her back against his chest. It was difficult to resist, despite her fiery emotions, given the heat he emitted.
He caught her chin and lifted it, forcing her gaze up to meet his. “The last person I coupled with before you was a synth. That was four thousand, one hundred and twelve days before I met you. Eleven years ago. When we finished, we went our separate ways without a backward glance.”
Lara wasn’t surprised that he knew it down to the day, but had it really been that long?
Though she didn’t want to know the answer to her next question, not really, it came out anyway. “What about human women?”
“There’ve been two, both the same situation as with the synth. There was never a connection with any of them beyond physical coupling.”
As easy as it would’ve been to get angry at him, to accuse him of lying about the nature of his pastcouplings, she couldn’t. Lara knew he was being honest. How could she fault him for things that had happened before he’d met her? His mind captured everything, every minute detail of every experience.
His past relationships weren’t important. He’d chosen to be with Lara. He cared for her, and she loved him.
Ronin released her chin and guided her back to his side beneath his coat. “I’m sure I was active before the Blackout, though I don’t remember anything from that time. I don’t know how long I existed, who I associated with, or what purpose I might’ve served. Don’t know if I coupled with anyone else.”
“It doesn’t matter. The past is in the past.” Saying it out loud helped ease Lara’s remaining tension. If she were to think about it really hard, she was sure she’d still be jealous of those other women, but that couldn’t be helped. Ronin washers.
“Was the woman you watched different too?” he asked.
“Different how?”
“You move with emotion. Lose yourself in it. Was she the same?”
“Yeah.” The memories were fuzzy, like they’d come from a different life. “At Kitty’s, we danced because we had to. That was the only way we could earn credits to buy food. Nobody was there to watch us express our feelings. They just wanted us to shake our tits around.”
“I do enjoy your breasts,” Ronin said thoughtfully.
Lara lightly smacked his chest.
If he’d felt it, he made no indication. “But it wasn’t your body that first caught my attention, Lara. It was the way you moved. That dance spoke everything in your heart before you said your firstfuck offto me.”
