Page 55 of Izzy
"Why do you think we've been here for the past week, baby?" The sincerity came through, but Ulises wasn't sure if he could trust it. Izzy had sounded sincere when he'd said Ulises was just a pity fuck too.
Ulises shrugged but he wanted to believe Izzy. He wanted every word Izzy said to be true. "You said you didn't really want me. Before."
"That was the lie, baby." Izzy pleaded with his eyes. "I promise to never use your illness against you again. It was a dirty move."
"I don't want your promises, Izzy." But he did. He wanted Izzy to promise forever but he hadn't said that yet. He probably never would. Izzy didn't do forever. At least not with someone like Ulises. "I'm broken. Or are you forgetting that?"
"Is that what Easton told you? That you wouldn't get better?" Izzy hung on the answer.
"No. He gave me a shot of vitamins and a dose of the drug that will shrink the tumor. He's hopeful. But it might not work. Or the side effects will be too much for me. Or maybe the tumor will finally wrap around my brain and kill me. Or maybe I'll get run over by a truck. Or killed in a flood. Any number of things could happen. Who knows? I don't come with a guarantee, Izzy."
Todd frowned and sat back on the couch with his hands in his lap. He seemed to deflate a little, as if something about what Ulises said struck a chord within him. "I don’t come with one either."
"How did this become about me? It's about you starting without me." Izzy growled and boxed them in on the couch with a hand on either side of them. Izzy made sure to include Ulises. "Continue where you left off."
Izzy's command fanned the embers inside Ulises, making the fire burn again. It was stupid to trust Izzy, but maybe Ulises and Todd having sex would prove something to all of them.
Ulises hesitated but he straddled Todd's lap again. Todd wrapped his arms around Ulises and pulled him forward. When the kiss started, it was a press of the lips. Nothing more. But then Ulises opened his mouth, letting Todd take the kiss deeper.
Todd licked Ulises’ bottom lip before sucking on it.
Ulises moaned, pressing closer to Todd, wanting to feel more of him. The kiss made him desperate. He wanted more. He'd take his body heat if he couldn't get skin to skin.
He itched to put his mark on Todd, and he’d never felt that way before. If it wasn't for Todd's T-shirt, he would have pressed his hand to Todd's chest and marked him with magic. But Todd wasn't his. They were fucking around with Izzy's permission, but it still meant nothing beyond making each other feel good. He had to remember that, or he'd end up giving away his true feelings.
As much as he wanted to keep it casual, Todd touching Ulises with tenderness and moaning as if he were desperate for more, made Ulises’ resolve melt away.
Ulises was aware of Izzy watching them. His presence made a difference. It seemed to give them permission to become bolder.
The couch dipped next to them. Izzy's thigh brushed his leg. And Izzy gripped the back of Ulises’ neck. His touch was gentle but firm when he pulled Ulises away from Todd.
Ulises met Izzy's gaze. He found nothing but lust there. It was the same expression he'd worn when they'd fucked before. Nothing had changed except maybe Ulises was a little broken because of Izzy.
But he wasn't confused.
"This is just fucking. Like before." Ulises should have moved away, but he didn't.
Izzy growled. "It's making love."
"Fuck you, Izzy." Ulises kissed him and when he didn't kiss back, he tried to pull away, but Izzy's hold tightened. Going from turned on to pissed off didn't make Ulises’ cock less hard. "Fuck you. Fuck you!"
Ulises could feel the tears in his throat before they spilled down his cheeks. He wanted to rail against Izzy and demand to be let go, but he let Izzy lift him into his lap.
"I hate you." Ulises held on to Izzy's vest, gripping it as if it was the thing that would keep him tethered to him. "You broke my heart, and I hate you for it."
Todd leaned into them, rubbing Ulises’ back. "It's okay, Ully. Just let it out."
Ulises pressed his forehead to Izzy's chest, breathing in his cinnamon scent. "I just want to forget you."
"No you don't, baby." Izzy's hold tightened. "No you don't."
"I know." But he still wanted it to be true.
"I deserve your anger."
Ulises lifted his head, wiping his tears. He narrowed his eyes. He didn't know what to say to that, so he repeated himself. "Fuck you. I hate you."
"No you don't." Izzy cupped Ulises’ cheek and smiled. "Don't say 'fuck you' again. If you do, I'll punish you. Got it, boy."
