Page 41 of Izzy
Ulises texted Seryn to tell him he had a date. In his excitement he forgot he was encouraging Seryn with his current sneaky plan. The more he thought about it, the more he told himself he didn't care if Izzy and Todd knew. Or if they were at the club tomorrow. Let them watch while Ulises either crashed and burned again or hit it off with a great guy.
He studied his notes before practicing. The language part was so difficult. He said the words wrong. But he was hopeful he'd get the hang of it soon.
Chapter Eighteen
All Izzy wanted to do was touch Todd. It was difficult to keep his hands off. He had felt the same way about Ulises. His response to the feeling had been to fuck him one more time and then dump him.
The shame washed over him as it always did. And the instinct to run as far away from Ulises and Todd as possible was still there. He wouldn't give in to it again. All he had to do was picture the hurt on Ulises' face.
He hadn't hurt Todd yet and he didn't intend to. He didn't know what it would look like on Todd's face, but he still did his best to picture it. He needed the image in his mind. It was the only thing that kept him from running.
Alongside the images of Ulises and Todd rolling around in his brain was the memory of his sister's last few moments alive. How her chest had moved, heavy and deep, as if every breath was painful. But it was the pause between that got to him. It took hours for her to take her last breath. They grew longer as time wore on. Eventually, her chest stopped moving.
Izzy had never been one to believe in souls. He hadn't ever wondered what happened to a person after they passed away before his sister died. But Izzy would always remember the moment when he'd felt alone in the room. It had been a few seconds after Maya had taken her last breath. It was as if her soul had been sucked out of her body along with all the air.
Her expression had been one of peace, as if dying on the hospital bed had been what she’d needed. But Izzy was angry. At her for dying. At the gods for snatching her from the earth, as if they were plucking a flower. At the unfairness. And at how alone he’d been.
He'd wanted to break something. More than one thing. But he hadn't. He'd sat in the chair next to her bed staring at her chest, willing it to move again. And when it never did, the numbness had made a home inside him.
Until Ulises. Something about him had opened a floodgate and the pain flowed through. His hands shook has he held Todd from behind. He hoped Todd didn't feel it. He didn't want to have to explain how he was losing it all over again over someone who had died more years ago than Todd had been alive.
Why couldn't Ulises leave Izzy’s numbness in place? He liked not feeling anything at all.
Todd didn't need to be distracted. He was trying to knead bread and not being very successful at it.
"How about I make you something to eat. And you sit right over there." Todd pointed to a stool on the other side of the island.
Izzy shook his head and tightened his hold. Part of his problem was his instinct to protect his mate. He'd failed with Maya, and he might with Ulises too, but maybe if he hung on tight enough, he'd be able to save ToddandUlises.
The only problem was the logic was flawed. He knew by holding onto Todd it wouldn't save Ulises. Or Todd for thatmatter. But if he kept them both close then it would be a lot easier.
Todd stopped kneading. He couldn't get enough leverage. "Okay, we're going to have a conversation about what's appropriate while I'm at work."
Izzy growled. "You're not the Daddy in this situation, boy."
But Todd was right. The clinginess wasn't fair to him. "But we should talk about it still."
Izzy let Todd go. And leaned against the counter, keeping his distance.. He didn't want to face Todd, so he stayed behind him. "Just keep kneading, sweetheart."
"I'm not a cat." Todd snorted.
"No. You're a pretty boy who needs an explanation." When Todd started to turn, Izzy growled. "Stay like you are."
Todd shivered. It was visible even from behind. "Okay."
Izzy couldn't help but focus on his ass. It was right there. He wore an apron with the string around his waist and secured in the front. But all it did was make his ass stand out. It didn't help that he wore some sort of pants that shouldn't have hugged his ass but did because his globes had a perfect roundness.
"Am I scaring you?" Izzy had to ask. He didn't know Todd well enough yet. Maybe Todd was scared of Izzy's commanding tone, especially since his eyes were his dragon’s and his fangs had dropped. How many shifters had Todd encountered? As a human, probably not many. He might be scared of Izzy. Not knowing his partial shift meant Todd's closeness made him protective and horny all at once.
Todd shook his head. "N-no. Not scared."
"How do you feel then?"
"Not scared," Todd repeated.
Izzy grinned. "I asked how you felt. Not how you didn't feel."
Todd sighed. "I like it when you get all commanding."
