Page 37 of Izzy
"Sort of like Seryn."
"I can handle that." And then Todd sucked in a breath. "Wait. Maybe I can't. You're Seryn's family, right?"
"We consider each other that, yeah."
Todd cursed. "First Ulises and now you. I really am going to mess it up."
Todd seemed genuinely distraught. And for reasons Izzy couldn't even begin to know.
"Will you tell me what's going on in that head of yours? Please, sweetheart."
Todd met Izzy's gaze. "I don't think this will work out."
Todd tried to get off the counter, but Izzy boxed him in.
"Tell me what the problem is. Now." As soon as Izzy gave the command, Todd sucked in a breath.
Izzy thought it meant he would refuse to tell him, but Todd blinked at him and then spilled his guts. "This is the best job I've ever had. I can't mess it up. Seryn said no chaos and no offense, but you are chaos walking. I didn't need to learn more about you to know that."
Izzy didn't take offense. He'd done a damn fine job creating chaos. None of which he regretted except hurting Ulises. But he understood what Todd was saying.
He hummed in agreement. "Seryn isn't someone to mess with. But there's a lot of room between something and nothing."
"Meaning?" Todd's frown was just about the cutest thing Izzy had ever seen. He still didn't like Todd being unhappy.
Izzy needed to fix it and fast before Todd came to a concrete decision to reject him. All Izzy thought about was what he could say to make Todd happy. With that in mind he said the first thing that came to mind. "You're my boy. Ulises could be too if I didn't fuck that up for good."
" I sort of messed up with him."
"I can be a good Daddy. I can commit to a relationship," he said it more to himself as a pep talk than to Todd.
"Um…" Todd's frown deepened. "How many relationships have you been in?"
Izzy didn't want to answer. He knew it wouldn’t be what Todd wanted to hear. "It doesn't matter. What matters is that I can commit. I can do this."
"Why does it feel like you're revving yourself up for the game of your life?"
Because he was. Well, it wasn't a game. It was real. But Todd was his mate. That was forever. And he wasn't sick. "You're not sick, like Ulises, right?"
Todd scowled. "I'm not sure how or why Ulises is sick but I never had anything but the flu. But if I did get something serious, would it matter?"
Izzy wanted to say it wouldn't. He wanted to say he could handle it if Todd died. Or if Ulises did but he couldn't. He'd never gotten past his sister death. He couldn't get past his mates or Ulises. He knew it. "It would crush me."
As soon as the words left his mouth the sincerity of them entered his heart and he knew then, he was already in too deep. Even if he never had a relationship with Ulises, if something happened to him, Izzy might as well be dead too. And he might not know Todd that well, but they were Fated mates. It was enough for Izzy to feel the same about him too.
Izzy took a step back and ran his hand through his hair. "Shit." Shit. Shit. Shit. And a Fucking hell, for good measure. "Fuuuucccck!"
The yell got the attention of Seryn and Mitchell. And probably everyone else in the house, but it was Seryn and Mitchell who came running into the room.
Todd sighed and didn't move from where he sat on the island.
"What the fuck, Izzy? It's nine o'clock in the fucking morning." Mitchell scowled and kept Seryn tucked under his arm.
"Well don't mind me. I'm just having a fucking crisis here." He needed somewhere to put his emotions. He either wanted to beat the shit out of someone or fuck. And since he probablywould never fuck anyone ever again since he was losing his mind over the thought of having a relationship. It would likely push Todd away just like he'd already done with Ulises.
Ulisis entered the room. His eyes were red-rimmed, and he clutched a wad of tissues.
Todd's back was to Ulises, so he didn't see him. "Are you afraid of loving someone and them dying? Like maybe you already love Ulises and you're afraid of him dying."
