Page 44 of Red Zone Realizations
I wave her closer. She takes one step.
What a fuckin’ tease.
Impatiently, I take one massive stride toward her and close the distance between us. My body behind hers. All hard lines and rough hands. She’s in front of me, all soft curves in her professional blazer.
I reach around her side and place the football in her hands. I watch as she tries her best to wrap her small hands fully around the leather. I chuff as I realize how incorrect her grip is and put my hands over hers. “Like this.” I pick her right handup and place just her fingertips on the laces. I put the left one on the other side to guide the ball. “Bring it up like this, use your left hand to guide it. Pull it back over your shoulder, then let it fly.” I stand back just a bit, giving her the space to launch it and giving myself the ability to take a whole breath without my chest brushing up against her back.
She lets it loose and it’s actually not horrible. “That was medium good.”
She whips around on me, her face set in mock horror. “You mean I’m not the next starting quarterback of the Hurricanes?”
“I can lie and say that you are. If it means—” Maybe I’m not doing a very good job at being patient after all. Giving in to my attraction to her is too easy. But there’s more than just attraction now, isn’t there?
Since smacking her in the face with a door, she’s done nothing but what she thinks is best for everyone else around her. Even at arm’s length, I’ve learned things about her that I like. How determined she is to work for herself, how hard it is for her to let go and give herself what she wants. How beautiful she looks when she allows herself to indulge, whether that be in food or laughter. All I’m doing is encouraging that. She’s the one who’s set the edges.
That’s her problem.
I’m shaken from my fraught thoughts when Audrey closes the space between us. Her face is soft as she looks up at me. The sun setting behind her gives us this picture-perfect halo of light.
“If it means what?” Her breath is a whisper. I pause a beat. Her words hanging between us.
You’ll want me. But I can’t say that, so I choke it down. Instead, I focus on her, what I think might be keeping her from giving herself to me fully.
“You can have whatever you want. There are no rules.” I can hear the blood rushing in my ears. She might be good at doing what needs to be done at the cost of her own needs, but I’m not. I’m selfish when it comes to her. Needy.
Instinctively, I put my right hand to her face. Cupping her jaw, I draw her lips to mine. I don’t give her a second to think. I know she can think her way right out of this kiss, right out of my arms. I feel her freeze, just for a split second, then she leans in.
I put all my emotions into my kiss. What I hope we can be, if she’ll allow us. I’m standing in this field begging for her to let me be more than a paycheck. To inspect every part of me and find that I’m worth more than whatever is holding her back. To trust that she can tell me anything. That I’ll be there to catch her when she falls.
If she’ll just give me the chance.
When we break apart, she rolls her lips together like she’s trying to savor the taste of our kiss, but I can read indecision in the lines of her face.
She reaches out and takes my hand by just my first two fingers. “Noah, I-I’m still trying to figure some things out. I can’t go around chasing whatever my heart wants.”
“Why can’t you?”
“I have responsibilities.”
“So do I”—I gesture at the field around us—“but I’m not going to let that keep me from living my life.”
“You’re living your dream.”
“Now, yes. But at first, when I was a kid, this was my dad’s dream. He wanted me to go pro like him. So this is my dream, but it’s not playing football that fulfilled it, it’s getting my dad off my back that did.” It’s my turn to look away from her. “I don’t know what I would do if I hadn’t ended up lovingfootball too. Or if I hadn’t been good enough to get drafted. Would my dad and I still be okay, or would he only look at me and see disappointment?”
She squeezes my hand, which makes me look back at her. “I’m sure no matter how much he loves football, he loves you more, and whatever you had decided to do instead he would become a fan of. Because it’s you.” Her voice trails off at the end like she’s saying it to me, but part of it is reverberating around in her own mind. She’s probably thinking about her own parents.
I squeeze her hand back. “Thank you.” I check the time on my phone. “We should get back.”
I jog fifteen feet to where Audrey’s ball went and pick it up. I carry it with me as I guide her back in the direction of the main building.
That throw certainly wasn’t a spiral, but my head is definitely spiraling out over her and what we are and where we’re going.
Chapter Twenty-Two
AUDREY
Since our kiss on the practice field last week, I’ve kind of been avoiding Noah. I just need time to get my head sorted. That might be my problem, though. Thinking it’s my head that needs sorting and not my heart.
