Page 81 of Red Zone Realizations
He gives me a look that calls me an idiot. I see his name tag says Jerry. “Celebration flowers? Anniversary flowers? Apology flowers?” He’s drying out a clear glass vase with a towel and it’s giving bartender-hearing-you-spill-your-guts vibes.
“Bad news flowers.” I remember my dad bringing home flowers for my mom as a kid. I think he did it for her birthday, but also when he had to disappoint her. One year a game got rescheduled to her birthday after they had planned a short trip, and he brought home damn near a hundred roses. They’re still married, so it must have worked.
Jerry sets the vase down and moves toward the big refrigerator bursting with flowers. “Ah. I see.” He reaches for a prearranged bouquet in a vase. It’s overflowing with creamy pink roses and greenery. It’s double the size of my head. He sets it back on the checkout counter next to the register. I step up as I grab my wallet. “That’ll do it.”
My heart is in my stomach as I pull my Audi out of the parking lot and head home.
I push open the front door, head still spinning.
Should I sell this house or keep it?
Keep it. For when I visit Mom and Dad.
All I want is a long hot shower and some time to journal my thoughts, but Audrey is already here waiting for me. She has a code to the door, which is great because she can be here when I get home, but it’s not that great when I’d rather have time to process things before I see her. If I could get a plan together, then I could present her with both the news and answers to her questions at the same time. Unfortunately, all I have is a city and a team name.
I step out of my shoes and Audrey must hear me because she calls to me. “In here!”
I head toward the sound of her voice in the living room. My steps are hesitant, like walking slower will push away the inevitable. Things have been so good between us, and I’m about to throw a wrench in it. Maybe it’s better this happens now before we’re too deep in this. She was going to see the reality of the life I lead eventually. At least I haven’t told her I love her yet. That will make it easy to untangle herself from me. Though, I might never be able to untangle myself from her.
My heart calms a little when I see her tucked into the couch scrolling through her phone. She’s got all the low lighting on,and a throw blanket wrapped around her knees. She looks so at ease here and I feel a swell of pride that she looks like she belongs in my house.
Her eyes go wide when she sees me holding the gigantic bouquet. “Noah! They’re beautiful!”
When she looks past the flowers and sees the look on my face, her face drops. “What’s wrong?”
I plop down on the couch beside her and pull her, blanket and all, into my lap. She lets out a small squeak but quickly wraps her arms around my neck. My mom always told me that it’s important to be physically connected to each other when you have to have big conversations.
I wear my emotions on my sleeve, so it’s impossible for me to hide that anything is wrong. I can never get away with it, especially saying I like something when I don’t because my face always shows my dislike.
Quickly, I decide if I want to have a preamble for this or just go for it.
I decide to rip the bandage off. “I’m being traded.”
Audrey gasps, her hands flying to her mouth. “No! That’s horrible!”
“Well, it’s not exactly a trade. They just think I should go to the market. See what other teams are willing to pay me.”
“And who’s interested?”
My chin hits my chest in defeat. “Chicago.” Her small hand softly touches my cheek. That simple touch brings a tear to my eye. Like when you’re already on the edge and all it takes is one person to ask if you’re okay.
It’s not just football. Yeah, it stings getting out in the first round of the playoffs, but most of all this is my home. Where I’m from.
There’s so much to do. Moving, learning a new offense,getting to know a new group of guys. My heart starts pounding at the idea of it all. Audrey notices and says, “Hey. Whoa now. It’s okay. We don’t know enough to panic yet. Everything is going to be fine.”
“Everything is decidedly not fine.”
Her other hand comes up and makes me meet her eyes. They’re full of love and that hurts even more.
There’s a time limit on us now. When I leave for Chicago, this will be over. No grown woman will want to do long distance with a man she’s known less than a year.
I realize she’s been talking this entire time while I was lost in my own thoughts. I finally tune back in as she’s saying, “We just need to make a plan. We can start with a list of everything that needs to be done.” She taps around on her phone, bringing up an organizational app. She starts typing, adding checkboxes as she goes. I watch over her shoulder as the list multiplies.
Tell parents
