Page 43 of Red Zone Realizations
“I had a hard time handling it until I started seeing a therapist. She helped me get a sense of accomplishment for even making it this far, and gave me the coping skills I needed to be at this level.”
“I’m glad you were able to see someone. A lot of dudes don’t believe in that.”
“My mom deserves the credit for that. She’s a huge advocate of therapy for everyone.”
“I love that.”
He looks at me for a second and I can tell he’s debating what he wants to say next. He wants to know something, but doesn’t want to push it. “It seems to me like you’ve been trying to live up to your parents’ expectations too.”
I turn my gaze back toward the lockers, away from him. “My parents didn’t understand why I ended my engagement. They thought my ex was a perfectly nice guy. To this day they mention him and ask if I know what he’s up to.”
“Ouch,” he says, and I stare at the picture of Noah looking so happy with his parents. I remember at my engagement party, the same night I ended things, all the aunts were around squawking about breaking bows while I unwrapped gifts. The old wives’ tale of however many bows you break is how many future children you would have. I made damn sure I didn’t break a single one, carefully opening each beautiful package.
“What’s your sister like?”
“She’s the baby, and she has a baby. That also makes her a favorite.”
“And what does that make you?”
“The eldest daughter.” We’re quiet.
I don’t want to see the distance in his eyes anymore. I wantto see the brightness they usually contain. And I don’t want to talk about my family anymore. “Let’s continue the tour.”
We’re on the north side of the facilities.
“This,” he explains as we walk, “is where the training room is. Everyone gets stretched and taped up before hitting the field, which is directly out the back doors.”
My mind sticks on what he just said. I realize that he was already good to go when he came out today. His performative softcore porn had a purpose.
That show was for me?
I’m speechless as he continues. After the training room is the weight room. He opens the door for me to peek in. “Two-thousand square feet of lifting equipment.” I recognize a bench press, but most of the other machines are as over my head as aerial yoga.
I laugh. “I’m sure this is both impressive and expensive, but I have no idea what I’m looking at here.”
One side of his mouth tilts up. “Let’s go see the field.”
When we walk out the double doors we’re hit with the muggy heat of late August. Houston will get nice weather eventually, but it’s probably still a month away. The hottest month of the year is almost over. Then we’ll just get fewer hot days. You’d be surprised how nice eighty feels after months of high nineties.
A network of concrete walkways spread out in front is us leading who knows where. I follow Noah to the left one and he leads us toward the practice field.
“Didn’t I see all of this today before the game?”
“Yeah, but from the field it’s completely different.”
It’s huge. Not just a football field, but large sideline space too. The stands for the fans take up a massive amount of space. It’s mostly empty now, the day having ended an hour ago. Afew maintenance men making sure the white lines are solid and undisturbed. A couple of equipment managers are packing up the rest of the cones.
Noah turns to someone wrangling extra balls into a big mesh bag. “Brandon, toss me one.” He holds up his hands. Brandon pauses and looks at Noah. He sighs. “I promise we will bring it back in when we’re done. You don’t have to wait.” I startle as Noah catches the ball Brandon sends hurtling toward us.
Noah turns to look at me, his dark eyes full of mischief. “So, do you know how to throw a spiral?”
Chapter Twenty-One
NOAH
I’m about to take some thoroughly calculated risks and some possibly problematic liberties. I’m desperate for some of this space between us to disappear. I’m not the kind to turn down an opportunity when it’s afforded to me. I spent all day watching Audrey laugh with my teammates, be friendly to their wives, and wear another team’s shirt. I’m sick of this arm’s length shit.
Her response knocks me out of my thoughts. “No, I can’t say that I do.”
