Page 31 of Red Zone Realizations
The chatter at dinner is lighthearted, though. Everyone’s in a good mood for Mikey’s birthday. I don’t care because I can drink my cabernet and eat my meal in peace. I would rather hear one-hundred times what Michael hopes to get for his birthday than let my parents turn their attention to me.
No one gets up from the table until Dad is done eating. That’s the way it’s always been. Once he pushes his chair back, the rest of us stand and start grabbing dishes. We all file into the galley kitchen. Mom shoos Dad and Lane away from the dishes, insisting that we will handle them after dessert. Sarah is quick to send Mom with them since she cooked, leaving Sarah and me to get the cake out and put candles in it.
I grab the gloves and the sponge to get to washing. We’ll serve the cake right after. Sarah loads the dishwasher and prepares to dry. We first decided to do it this way in middle school. Sarah hated scrubbing, and I didn’t mind washing with gloves. As I wait for the water to get hot, I can’t help but think that maybe Sarah and I would be closer if I weren’t so much older than her. Maybe it’s her strong calling to motherhood, teaching, and everything kids. Her introduction to it at such a young age. Maybe it’s my nonexistent motherly instinct.
I read once that motherhood is a spectrum. One side is the kind of person who knows from a young age that they want to be a mother. The other end is someone who doesn’t have any interest in mothering or parenting. The lowest level won’t even take care of pets. They don’t want to be responsible for any living thing. I probably fall around the okay-with-taking-care-of-dogs level—or at least guinea pigs—but am uninterested in children.
“So…” Sarah knocks me out of my thoughts with her pointed tone. I grab a pot and start scrubbing.
“Yes?” I ask.
“Who’s the boy?”
“What boy?” I make sure my tone is even.
“A certain six-foot, dark-haired man I saw you with at the movies.”
“How did you see us at the movies?” I look up from my hands. “Why didn’t you come say hello?”
“You two looked awfully occupied. You were hanging all over his arm with a stupid look on your face. Obviously, you guys are together.”
“I wouldn’t say that.”
“What does that mean?”
“It means that I’m not interested in getting hurt again.”
She nods slowly. “Right.”
I already know where she’s going with this. She didn’t understand why I had to leave Hunter over something she didn’t think I could be sure of. “If you weren’t so stubborn, you wouldn’t have to be so worried.”
I rinse the pot I’m working on. “We’ve had this conversation before, Sarah. I feel the same way today as I did then.”
“And you’re worried that opening that can of worms will scare him away.” It’s not a question. Like she knows all the secrets I’m keeping from Noah, and from myself.
I decided to play dumb. “You don’t know that he doesn’t already know.”
“I do,” she says, and I stop washing.
I continue to look at the soap covering my hands. I want to bluff, but she’s right.
She sighs like all her investigating of my dating life has tired her. “I know everything.”
“What’s everything?”
“I know he plays for the Hurricanes. I know you’ve been hanging out for weeks.”
“How?”
“I saw you and Noah at the movies when I took Mikey to see that new cartoon movie with the cats. I did some sleuthing after. I knew I recognized him from somewhere. Once I got to googling, it wasn’t hard. Tyler used to watch the Hurricanes all the time.”
I thought I saw a blonde kid with light up Blue’s Clues shoes when we were there, but was too engrossed in Noah to really pay attention.
“You’re not going to say anything, are you?” I drop my eyes back to the sink. “I’m going to tell him eventually. Wehaven’t gotten to that point yet.” I grab the next pan and try to calm my racing heart.
“Of course I won’t. Besides, it’s not like I’ll run into him or the two of you again,” she says and my head perks up. “I’ll keep it a secret, though, if you help me out a little.”
I side eye her suspiciously. “With what?” I already babysit whenever she needs it.
