Page 2 of Red Zone Realizations
On my way out of our apartment, I walk right by Hunter. Still where I left him at the kitchen table, staring at the glint coming off my ring. I expected he would have more to say. He sure had an awful lot to say to his mother tonight about what I do and do not want, but he remains silent as I turn the door handle to leave. The silence from him isn’t surprising considering the bomb I just dropped, but it’s certainly deafening as I close one chapter in my life.
I pull out my phone and dial Nicole’s number. She answers in two rings.
“I’m coming over. I’ll be there in ten.”
I don’t remember any of the drive to Nicole’s, but I’ve done it so many times I could probably do it with my eyes closed.They may as well be. My memories with Hunter roll in my mind's eye like a film.
Nicole wraps me in her arms when I arrive. Tears sting my eyes. “It’s over,” I whisper.
She holds me tight. “It’s going to be all right.”
She lets me go and I place my duffle on her couch. We sit close. “What happened? Do you want to talk about it?”
“You’ve known me since elementary school.”
She nods. “I was there through your whole tomboy phase. When you refused to wear anything pink.”
“Thank God that was a phase, but…” My breath hitches. “My not wanting kids wasn’t. That’s something I’m dead set on, Nicole.”
“I know.” She has never once judged me. Not when I told her the first time that I thought I might not want kids, even though we used to discuss name ideas. Not when I left the Catholic faith we had been raised in together.
“Apparently, Hunter didn’t.” I sniff a laugh, but it sounds liquid in my throat. “He thought I would change my mind. I overheard him telling his mom tonight.”
“Why didn’t you come find me at the party and tell me?”
My cheeks are hot, burning with second-hand embarrassment. “And ruin my engagement party in front of everyone? Be the hysterical crying bride?” I shake my head. “No way.”
“Well, you’re here now. We don’t have to handle everything tonight. You can stay here as long as you need.” I hug her, fully wrapping my arms around her. I smell her floral shampoo and feel the comfort that only a childhood friend can bring you.
She tucks me under her arm, leading me toward her bed.Since elementary school, we’ve never slept in separate beds during sleepovers. We always shared her bed. Tonight is no different. Having the weight and warmth of her next to me helps keep me calm as the reality of what I’d done crashes around me. My heartbeat plays an erratic tune, and I take deep breaths to try and slow it. I pull out my phone, and open the notes app to start a list:
1. Get the rest of my stuff.
2 Find a place to live.
3. Swear off men.
4. Buy a vibrator.
At the ripe old age of twenty-nine, I’m going to have to start over.
Having the steps laid out in order makes the lizard part of my brain happy. Nothing is impossible when broken down into attainable steps. At least that’s what I tell myself as I review the list and listen to Nicole’s gentle breathing as she sleeps. The heaviness of the argument and the exhaustion from socializing are apparently too much for me to fight. What I assume would be a fitful night of regret and tangled emotions that prevent me from falling asleep turns into the opposite and I am somehow able to find sleep. Maybe this is my subconscious telling me I’d made the right choice to leave?
In the morning, I check my phone and wake up to twenty texts. Some from Hunter, others from my family. None are supportive. The top one from my sister, Sarah, simply reads,What did you do?!I knew Hunter was up my family’s ass, but I didn’t think he would immediately run to them and expose his belly like a scared puppy.
I guess it’s time to face the music.
But at least this time, the tune and the lyrics will be completely my own.
Chapter One
AUDREY
MAY
I check my phone. Four forty-five. I’m sitting in the drive-thru line at the bank on a busy Thursday afternoon, depositing a check for my family’s business, Space City Auto. I barely made it to the bank before they closed after stuffing a PB&J in my mouth. I spent the morning babysitting my nephew Mikey for my younger sister Sarah. She had a doctor’s appointment to get to, so I took Mikey to the park. It’s been a very long day—hell, a very long week—and I didn’t even have time for a proper lunch. At this point, I might not make it to yoga class on time.
I still have to respond to Polly, my client who’s waiting on a contract from a sponsor, and make a short form video for my social media management business, but I also have errands to run for my mother, this bank deposit being one of them.
