Page 73 of Twin Flames
He was at a loss as to how to sort out the mess that his life had become, but he knew he couldn’t be without her any longer. If she made contact, he resolved he would figure something out so they could be together. He would stop pushing her away. She only ever asked to see him; to spend time with him. It didn’t seem unreasonable now that she had gone. He was consumed with remorse. If he stopped resisting the inevitable, he hoped she’d be less inclined to keep breaking it off.
He oscillated between feelings of anger at her for deserting him, and empathy because of what she had endured due to his refusal to end his marriage. He’d previously concluded that if he was in her position, he would cope better. He pulled a face. Now he wasn’t so sure. He had chastised her in the past for her erratic behaviour, but as the empty hours turned into dull days and endless, lonely nights, his understanding deepened and regret crushed his soul.
If only he had revealed that they were married to one another a couple of centuries earlier and that no matter how pig-headed she thought him, she was the only woman he had ever loved. It was just going to take him some time to work things out. Things would be so much easier if she knew there was no need to be jealous. If she returned, he would wait for the right time to tellher. For now, he had no choice but to keep their Victorian life to himself.
Over the years he’d grown accustomed to keeping his emotions buttoned up. It was a form of self-defence. If he revealed his true feelings to Joanna, it would be impossible to keep up the charade. Their relationship only hung together if they both played their part. He pretended he was in love with her, and other than the occasional comment, she pretended she didn’t know he wasn’t. Their marriage would have imploded years earlier if either of them had been honest about their feelings. Joanna yearned for what he couldn’t give her, and so he gave her friendship, dressed up as a romantic partnership. They had played Oscar-winning performances, but now he’d run out of lines.
Perhaps there would come a day when he would live with Cara openly as they did in Victoriana. He barely dared to allow himself to hope it would come to pass. He didn’t manage disappointment well. It frightened him.
If he told Cara about their previous life together, who knew what she’d make of it. He had almost told her when he’d experienced deja-vu at Hampton Court Palace. There was something familiar about the Tudor apartments. It was as though they’d been there together before. It was the same feeling he had when he went back to Victorian times and met Cara for the first time. They’d been introduced at a dinner at Windsor Castle in the Summer of 1840. The festivities at the castle were merry, following the royal wedding, earlier that year.
One look at Cara and he was bewitched. It was exactly like when he’d met her in the bookshop. Love at first sight. Miraculous but real. Neither of them could bear to be apart for more than a few hours. After years of ducking out of matchmaking attempts by his mother, one week later he proposed and he and Cara were married before Christmas.When you know, you know. And he knew now too, but he was locked into a situation and couldn’t find the key to escape.
How could he explain they were married two hundred years earlier but he was sorry he wasn’t free now? No, he shook his head. He didn’t understand the connection between them, which transcended hundreds of years, but their bond was unbreakable. No matter how many times he retreated or she broke off their relationship, they were drawn together again like magnets. George decided the only plausible explanation was that they were soul mates. He used to think the idea of soul mates was a load of romantic nonsense but not anymore. And besides, thinking they were destined to be together gave him a slither of comfort when his sadness threatened to smother and choke him in a black curtain of depression. There were days where he felt her loss so keenly that he could barely catch his breath.
Ever since their lives collided in the bookshop, he’d experienced the indescribable ability to navigate between the present-day and the Victorian era.
Nothing like it had ever happened to him before. One minute he was a workaholic, preoccupied with the business of rare manuscripts, and the next, well. . .he’d readThe Time Machineat school and thought it was a marvellous work of science-fiction.
And to think that now he was a bona fide time traveller. He didn’t know how to get his head around it. Meeting Cara in another time was disorientating. They were involved in two parallel lives, and sometimes it was more than he could process. Yet he couldn’t deny it.
They were celebrated as a perfect match in Victorian circles, but here their relationship was tumultuous. If he could go back on demand, he’d leave York immediately and buy a ticket to join her. Anywhere. If only it were that easy; he’d leave this impossible situation behind.
But he didn’t know how to travel back whenever he wanted. He didn’t even know if it was possible. Time travel on demand wasn’t in his box of tricks. He had no control whatsoever over when he went or returned.
He was optimistic Queen Victoria would permit Cara to accompany him if the proposed trip to Spain went ahead.Looking back, he could see the links between their two lives. It was no wonder he’d loved Spain as soon as he visited as a young man on a business trip. There had been an inexplicable pull. Now it was obvious why—he’d probably spent time there in his past life.
Whether Cara had been with him wasn’t yet clear, but he suspected she had. He hoped so; he couldn’t stand the idea of them being wrenched apart there too.
London, 1536
‘Cara, welcome back. How is it going in the future?’ Eddie asked once they’d left the Tower and had a chance to whisper as they walked side by side along the cobbled street.
‘Terrible. It’s going terribly, Edward.’ Cara tried to remember to call him by his formal name in Tudorville.
‘Why, what’s happening?’
‘Well, for one thing, George isn’t even alive! His wife is married to another man who resembles him but most definitely is not him. Of course, that would be the answer to my prayers if only he were alive. It’s what I’ve wished for. I still can’t understand why he married her.’ Cara shook her head. Thinking about it made her melancholy.
‘Oh my lord. That’s a major hiccup indeed,’ said Edward, scratching his head. ‘So what can we do?’
‘Well, you and I decided we’d have a Plan B in case Plan A didn’t work, which it obviously didn’t.’
‘How do you know?’
‘Because I’m here with you again! Plan A was for me to travel back to disrupt the timeline so that George and I never met. That way we wouldn’t have married, he wouldn’t die at the Tower, and we’d avoid all of this heartache in the present day.’
‘Is that what you want?’ said Edward.
‘No, of course not.’ Cara shook her head again. ‘That’s exactly what you asked in the present day!’
‘Oh, dear. Well, I’m sorry my lady, but it’s tricky to know what I’ve said as my future professor self! Please bear with me because I’m an earlier model. What do you want exactly? I’m confused.’
‘Sometimes, I don’t even know what I want. Anyway, Plan A is obviously a no go so we’re moving on to Plan B. It’s our only option.’
‘Which is?’
‘It really is infuriating that you don’t remember your own plans, Edward!’
