Page 49 of Twin Flames
His phone rang, rousing him from his groggy state.
‘Morning. How are you?’
‘Ah, morning. There you are. Where did you go? I’ve been calling and calling.’ He tried to make light of it but was tired and on edge. His voice sounded sullen even to his own ears.
‘I’m sorry. I was talking to Daniel’s doctor. They’re in the process of deciding whether to go ahead and do the surgery or whether to wait and see how he does without it for a while. It’s complicated. It’s tricky to know what would be best.’
‘Okay,’ he said, polite but bordering on cold. He was fed up of hearing about Daniel but didn’t wish to seem uncaring.
‘What do his children say? They’re his next of kin, so I suppose it’s up to them to decide, isn’t it?’
‘Well, yes but. . .’
A heavy silence hung between them until George prompted Cara in a gentler tone, ‘But?’
‘It’s odd, but now he’s in this condition, they’re being really lovely to me and keep asking for my input and wanting me to make the decisions.’
‘Okay, but it’s not your decision to make, is it? Unless you want it to be, of course.’ He checked himself. He’d said enough.
He felt exposed; more vulnerable than he’d ever been. He detested feeling insecure like this. Logically he knew that what she did regarding Daniel wasn’t any of his business. Given his position, he didn’t think he had the right to question her relationship with him. But it didn’t stop him feeling jealous. Alarm bells were ringing, and he didn’t want to be caught with his trousers down when he should be making a quick exit. He took a deep breath and consciously drew back from the fire.
‘No, you’re right. It’s for them to decide, but I suppose I feel a bit guilty,’ Cara said.
‘It’s not your fault. It could have happened any time. You weren’t to know.’ He wanted to be supportive, but he was in a panic. None of this was in his control. He wanted her too much. The urge to protect his heart and pull up his emotional drawbridge kicked in.
Tears welled in her eyes, and her throat constricted as the love she felt for him threatened to overwhelm her. She wasn’t prepared for the emotion in his voice. She knew he studiously kept up his bravado and took care not to lower his barriers, so in the odd moments he was vulnerable, it was all the more touching.
She yearned to go to him. She wished he would wrap his arms around her and she could sink into him as they shut out the world.
How could it be wrong for them to be together when they loved each other like this?
It was one of life’s cruellest tricks; send you someone who is your perfect counterpart and who fulfils you in ways you never imagined. But make them unavailable. Push you to the limits of your own good character so that you doubt your integrity andeverything you thought you stood for. Their relationship pushed buttons neither of them had known they had.
‘I’m in town if you want to stop by the workshop for a coffee.’
‘I’d love to, but I’m not sure what time I’ll be able to leave the hospital because they’re running tests. I promised Sally I’d be here this afternoon. She was hinting for me to stay the night so she can go home, but I hope I won’t have to.’
‘Remind me who Sally is?’ George had switched into sounding disconnected and business-like.
‘Daniel’s eldest daughter. She met me at the station, remember? Her husband brought the kids into town today. It’s tough with them all living in Manchester. She hasn’t seen them all week.’
‘Ah, yes. I knew that.’ He laughed, but the sound was hollow.
Cara knew he was annoyed. There was a steely edge to his voice which others may not recognise. She could sense his moods and often guessed what he thought before he could put it into words. This was how it had been between them since the beginning. It was the same for him. He could pick up on her thoughts and feelings. It was as though they were tuned into the same antenna. It was unnerving at times to be so finely attuned to one another. Sometimes Cara feigned ignorance and let it be. It was simpler than trying to constantly analyse the intense frequency which connected them like an electric current.
‘Are you going back to work soon?’ George asked.
‘I’ve got my laptop and been doing a bit of work here.’ Cara sounded defensive.
‘Sounds like you’ve moved in there!’ He immediately wished the words hadn’t slipped out.
There was an awkward pause.
You idiot.
He cursed himself.
‘Try to understand. He doesn’t have anyone but his kids, and they’ve fallen apart. I feel responsible. He’s not been awake for more than short periods since I arrived.’
