Page 36 of Vile Emotion
Suddenly, her phone rings and she glares at it.
“Pick it up.” Alaric encourages her.
She narrows her eyes but she picks it up.
“Sheriff Johnson,” after that she listens, and then I could see it all so clearly. The confidence and smugness is gone and the color is drained from her face. She doesn’t say anything else as she hangs up the phone.
Alaric stands and pulls me with him.
“The next time I’m in here, tell me exactly what happened to my brother. I’m the only one who can tell someone to leave or come. This is my town now, sheriff. I own you and everyone in it. Don’t fuck with me again.”
My eyes widened, wondering when Alaric did that and where he got the money to own the town. I want to ask but I don’t. Alaric and I walk out together and it doesn’t click until we’re at the passenger door of the car, that we’re still holding hands.
We’re hand in hand yet neither of us bothered to take a minute to figure out how this happened.
26
Imay have lost my mind when it came to owning the town but something about being here woke me up again.
The pain of losing my brother and the way he was discovered came flooding in.
Hell, I don’t even believe in ghosts much but I felt him and I dreamt of him. Even if he wanted me to let him go, I can’t. These people need to face the consequences of killing a kid that did nothing to them. The fact that I’m older than him now when it shouldn’t be like this, isn’t alright. It isn’t safe for me to dwell on the what-ifs of it because all it does is piss me off. It irritates me that this town and these people walk around acting as if my brother owed them something and he deserves to be in the ground.
“This is bullshit.” I grumble to myself as I sit back, staring at the ceiling.
I’m restless and I don’t like the way that there isn’t anything on there for me to concentrate on. My frown deepens as I stare at the blank, off white, chipped ceiling, there’s something so profound in the silence. The heartache that I feel. I don’t know if it's for my family or for the fact that I am close to finding out who did this to my brother.
My eyes shut as I think back to when I was a teenager and in some weird phase. Well that’s what my parents called it. I didn’t know what it was or what was wrong but now as an adult, I think it was emotions that were suppressed.
I didn’t know how to feel then and I don’t know how to feel now. At times, I used to just punch my wall repeatedly and other days, I’d stare. Stare so hard that it would cause me to forget it all.
Forget that my parents were arguing back and forth because he isn't a good man. Nothing about him was secure. I used to think that my father hated me and I knew that was why I was the way that I was. Hell, even him not acknowledging Godric’s death or life.
I don’t remember the last time I felt this way; so lost and empty to the point that so many things felt pointless. Me keeping Juliana here with me, me hurting her with my words and me, waiting for Carmen to walk back into my life. Something that makes me more delusional than I already am. I need to let her go, don’t I?
To not hold on to her so tight that I become my father.
My father became that way because he lost a piece of him with Godric. I couldn’t even imagine how he felt at that time but now… now that I’ve lost a child and an unborn one. I can no longer be the same. I am floating.
Floating in my life.
Having everyone hate me because that is the only way I can express the emotions I’ve learned and am not experiencing.
But now…everything is clear as my phone pings.
Pulling out my cell, I don’t anticipate what email I receive.
My eyes scan over what I’m reading the first time and I don’t blink nor do I flinch. I don’t bother sitting up as I read over it again and
again.
Hi, Mr Crowne.
Here are the sealed files and details on Godric.
Time of death: 11pm.
Cause of death: Froze to death and multiple blunt force trauma.
