Page 40 of Vile Emotion
If she’s to be my wife in front of others then they need to know she doesn’t take shit from me either even if she does. Pretending is what most of us are good at in these societal conditions so can you really be the first one to throw a punch or whatever Jesus said?
Ignoring her question, I change the subject a little, veering it in the way that is important at the moment.
“You need to behave like someone who used to have the status you had, Juliana. You can’t forget what it feels like being born with a diamond spoon in your mouth, this shit is in your blood. The faster you recognize it, the less people will look down on you.”
“It wasn’t a diamond spoon.”
“So it was a silver spoon, it doesn’t change who you are at your core. When we step into society, people will come up to you and say things about what you did and will you just cower away everytime?”
“Should I stop cowering away when you’re bringing it up?”
“The difference between me and them, Juju, it’s the simple fact that none of what happened to me, happened to them. Noneof the anger you bring out of me is an excuse for them to have it. I fight my own battles and I don’t need anyone else helping me bully you. As you can see, Alaric Dean Crowne can handle his business.”
Juliana rolls her eyes and I’ll let her have that because she needs to get into the habit of thinking and knowing no one can just tell her what to do or touch her except me.
Not an intimate touch but metaphorically speaking.
“Are you going to leave without Godric?”
I shake my head at her question. She should know me better than that. In the last week or so, there were vulnerable parts of me that she was exposed to that no one else will ever get the chance to see from me.
Carmen never saw me like this. What does that really say?
“Would I leave without my brother?”
“No, you wouldn’t.”
“Exactly. We’re going to pick him up right now and get him out of this sick, fucking town and as I leave this town, I will burn it to the ground.”
“What about all the innocent people? They had nothing to do with it.”
“Nothing about this town is innocent and I’m no arsonist but everyone can get the fuck out of my town then it’ll be a ghost town. Nothing will exist here except ghosts.”
“A ghost town.” she reiterates.
It’s not a question so I don’t answer her. What is there for me to answer with when this is what is going to happen. She needs to learn and to see what it means to be a Crowne. How things are in your hand and work for you. You don’t work hard to make things happen.
The restof the car ride is silent as we drive where we need to go. Once we reached the big house, the sheriff instructed me to meet her, I scoffed. Her and her family live in a big house in this small town and it’s on the soil where my brother died. This isn’t the land particularly but it doesn’t matter, the entire town is drenched in his blood.
As I drive up the U-shaped driveway, my rage comes back full force but there’s this sensation that washes over me that calms me down. As if I’m going to get the truth about what happened to my brother and I am going to be able to leave this town with a different purpose.
“Wait in the car.” I tell Juliana and she sighs but doesn’t move.
I get out of the car and within seconds, Juliana is behind me. I look her way and she shrugs her shoulders.
“You said to act like a Crowne and a Crowne wouldn’t wait in the car for you, would they?”
The only acknowledgement I give her is a slight twitch in my brow. She’s proud of her accomplishment of being able to finally one-up me in this predicament but whatever, I can take it. This is nothing for me.
“Mr. Crowne, can I call you Alaric?”
“No, Sheriff Johnson, you can’t call me anything but Mr. Crowne. Now, give me the information you need to give me.”
Sheriff Johnson stares at me for a moment and then away. There’s something she doesn’t want to tell me.
“Look, I just have to say that he’s an old man. He can’t help what happened, He doesn’t remember why he buried the case.”
My eyes narrow.
