Page 3 of Vile Emotion
She made it possible for me to think that one day, someday when I’m gone, there was something else in store for us but now, it’s gone. I realized what it was. She was my heaven and now that she’s gone, it’s hell.
“Is there anything you need me to get you?” Shantel pulls me out of my misery filled thoughts.
“Just get me Cassius,” I instruct as I slip out of my bed. Shantel moves back, clearing her throat because I’m not dressed appropriately. She’s my private personal assistant, it doesn’t get more personal than this. “Tell him to meet me at the prison. That killer comes out today.”
“Yes, sir.” She replies as I walk away towards my shower.
Once I remove my boxers, I step into the shower and a smile forms on my face. Finally, my torture can begin. I’ve never loathed a person like I loathe this bastard woman. No, she’s not a woman, she’s a murderer. That’s it and that’s all. It’s been five years since Carmen has been gone and my grief has stayed as anger only. That anger has transformed into loathing … for one specific person. Juliana Hart, that heartless bitch. I don’t give a damn that it was deemed an accident. It really doesn’t matter to me, all that matters is that once she’s served her purpose with the law, she finishes the rest of her life sentence with me, in my prison.
“Areyou sure this is what you want to do?” My best friend, who is my personal lawyer, Cassius asks while I wait outside of the prison gate.
“Yes, Cassius, this is what I want to do.” I say, giving him a sideways glare.
“Are you ready for the media backlash?”
“Fuck the media. This isn’t about them. If I want to do what I want to her, it’s my fucking business.”
“Seriously, Ric, this shit isn’t going to end well. Didn’t you do enough when she was in prison?” Cassius shakes his head at me then continues to look over.“She’s young and she can try to do something with her life. You even went as far as taking her child that she birthed in there and you’re raising him as your own. You named him Alaric, for fuck’s sake. She doesn’t even know her son survived, does she?”
Schooling my features is hard as I look at Cassius with disgust so deep, it could appear to be towards him, when it’s not.
“She’s old enough to get this punishment…” I pause. “ThatSHEdeserves. Plus, I’m taking back everything she took from me. Ricky is my son since she took my son away.”
“And she’s the wife that she took away from you?” Cassius asks with judgment all over his face.
“Yes, asshole, she is. She won’t ever replace my wife but she will experience the worst part of me until I’m ready to go to hell right along with her. There’s no heaven for us.”
“Us who?”
“That heartless monster and I. There’s no such peace that’ll ever settle us. When it’s all said and done, I’m dragging her to hell with me.”
“What about Ricky?”
This brings a small smile to my face. “Alaric is my precious angel.”
“This isn’t going to end well.” Cassius says and I shrug.
“It didn’t begin well.”
Cassius shakes his head as he finally steps out of the car and walks over to the gate waiting for her to come out.
Welcome to your hell.
2
“You’ve got two options, Juliana. Prison or my home. You don’t want me to report that my second wife is missing mysteriously now, do you? They’ll believe that the Crownes have a fucking curse on them.”
The man I have never uttered a single word to yet since that day in court, has made my life a living hell over the past five years, says towering over me.
Alaric Dean Crowne is not a simple man. He won’t forgive me. I learned that the hard way and my second time in solitary confinement. Well, no it wasn’t the solitary confinement, it was the simple fact that Alaric had the power to add three more years to my sentence. Five years felt like an eternity there. No phone calls, no letters, and people treated me like the plague except for one woman, Beatrice but somehow the guards found out she was nice to me… After that, she was gone. Transferred somewhere else.
I regret everything I’ve ever done. My guilt for taking Alaric Crowne’s wife and children eat at me everyday. Over and over I see their bloody bodies like they had it in the courtroom when pictures were shoved in my face. When I daydream, I see themtelling me that I don’t deserve to live and when I shut my eyes to sleep, Alaric’s vengeful hazel eyes glare at me.
There is no peace and I understand that. I really do. If I were a psychiatrist, I’d say that I was severely depressed but I can’t diagnose myself, even though the prison therapist said I showed signs of depression. I can only take in my own ghastly reflection. The glow in my brown skin is gone, my curves are hidden in my clothes and the only thing that’s full about me, is my hair. Somehow, it agreed with prison and the coils thrived, the length of it grew down my back and the fullness of it made it easier for me to hide.
I don’t wish to stay around Alaric, I never would have appeared in his vicinity but now I have no choice.
Looking from Alaric to the prison gates that felt like a small box, I turn back to the man that is a monster to me. Was he always a monster or has he become one because of what I took away from him?
