Page 22 of Vile Emotion
I don’t understand… Godric is dead? Am I seeing things? Is someone playing a trick on me?
My heart further breaks apart.
16
The second Juliana says Godric’s name… the younger brother in me immediately shoots up for attention.
Godric was my older brother that I never got the chance to know more than a few glances here and there along with small talks that my father has no clue about even now.
I remember it so vividly and when I found out what happened to Godric, my heart was broken beyond repair, that was part of my reason for aiming to be such a good older brother.
Even though Godric was years older than me and I rarely saw him, I looked up to him. He was nice and kind but he struggled a lot because of his mother.
The second I heard his name from Juliana’s lips, it made me even more upset. For once, I wasn’t mad directly at her. I was mad because no one in this small fucking town uttered a word about what Godric went through.
This was why I hated places like this. Small towns that pretend that they are good people but they harbor a secret about what happened. If I could I’d shake this entire town and make sure it disappeared so that no one could escape from my wrath, I would. They deserve it.
Juliana hasn’t stopped looking my way since we’ve stepped foot in this motel she was trying to hide out in. It’s completely laughable when people think that hiding in a less luxurious spot will make them inconspicuous but it’s really the other way around. I expected her to hide out somewhere that the town people wouldn’t think of her as anything but a person who has to make ends meet.
“What?” I snap at her and she jumps.
Usually, I’d find pleasure in this but I don’t. I’m angry right now because all I can think about is that despite the amount of money I’ve got, I cannot find out a single thing that backs up what I know about these townspeople when it comes to my brother.
Hell… I don’t even know what to say to her when she said she saw my brother. Am I curious? Yes. Yet, I can’t find myself asking her to tell me what happened. It goes beyond what I believe in and even then, if ghosts were real, why haven’t I been able to see my wife. Why can’t she be the one to come to Juliana and haunt her ass making it double torture? No, instead it’s my brother. Someone that I’ve buried deep inside to the point that no one talks about him.
“What?” I look her way again. “What do you keep staring at me and sighing for?”
“I just…” She starts but then stops as she sits back on the same chair she’s been sitting on for hours staring at me while I sat on the only bed in this stupid room.
“You just what? Say what you have to say or don’t sit there sighing or staring at me. I don’t need your feedback or anything else.”
Her eyes widen as she stares at me but she doesn’t say anything else for a moment and then she opens her mouth.
“He can’t be your brother or dead.” She says.
“What the fuck are you talking about?”
“Godric. There’s no way. There has to be some kind of mix-up. Maybe he just has that last name but it means nothing because he sat there talking to me. This entire time we’ve been talking to each other and he waits with me at the bus stop. The town said he was drunk but he seems harmless to me.”
“Seems? Are you seeing ghosts?” I ask her.
“Seeing ghosts?” She repeats.
“Juliana… you’re giving me a fucking headache and if I get a fucking headache, you’re not going to be sitting in that fucking chair long.” I threaten.
I know she’s going to take that threat as something more but there’s nothing that’s going to be done right now. I’m highly upset but there’s another emotion coming my way. Which involves the deep seeded anger in me about my brother. An older brother that I never got the chance to say a simple goodbye to.
“He was there!” She says and stomps her size 8 sneakered covered foot on the carpeted ground.
My brow involuntarily rises at her action.
“Go the fuck to sleep before you piss me the fuck off, gloriously.” I warned her.
Juliana shuts her mouth and I wait some more for her to say anything else but she doesn’t.
Good, because I am not in the mood to talk to the so-called ghost whisperer anyway.
It was laterin the night, and I was just about to drift off to sleep when I heard a voice in my head. It was my older brother's voice, and he was telling me how much he loved me and how proud he was of me. I tried to push the thoughts away, but they kept coming back. I started to get angry, and I yelled at mybrother in my head, telling him to leave me alone and that I was never going to forgive him for dying. The next thing I knew, I was sitting up in the chair, sweating and shaking. I had to remind myself that my brother was gone and that I would never see him again.
