Page 2 of Vile Emotion
Two years was my punishment.
I’ve never even killed a spider, how did this happen?
I cried my heart out when I was first told the news, I didn’t know how to handle it or how to apologize to anyone properly. The guilt made my heart drop to my feet. How could I take someone’s life, let alone three people’s lives? I don’t deserve to live. It would’ve been better if I died instead of them. I got into a fatal collision with one of the most powerful families in our country. I should’ve known my luck ran out the second Imet Edwin. The victims who died in the collision were Alaric Crowne’s pregnant wife and child. I was shit out of luck from that moment on.
“I promise you, Juliana Hart, I will make you regret the day you were born, you psychotic evil bitch.” I fear his dead looking eyes will haunt me for the rest of my life, no matter where I am.
So will the guilt.
I didn’t mean to kill her or their child, everyone knows that but I don’t think the late Carmen Crowne’s husband knows that. I tried to apologize, to plead with the Crowne family but all I saw were those cruel hazel eyes that let me know he would destroy me.
Those are the only words I could remember as they took me to my cell. Alaric Crowne is going to kill me if I don’t end up getting killed in jail. It doesn’t matter though, maybe it’s what I deserve. No, it is what I deserve. I can’t change or forget that I have blood on my hands. I have to repay that.
The second the guards are gone, I turn to face my cell mate and it’s a woman that looks like she’d eat me for breakfast and spit me out way before lunch. She steps up to me and decks me in the face faster than I can react.
“That is a welcome party gift from Alaric Crowne. Welcome to the rest of your life, bitch. He says he misses you.”
She steps to me again and this time, I refuse to go down without a fight. I stand, hitting her back just as hard. I don’t know how long we fight but when the guards pull us apart, a chunk of my hair is gone. Seeing that makes me see red, I charge at her but the guard intercepts, dragging me kicking and screaming to what I now know as the box; Solitary confinement.
I did die and meet the devil.
His name is Alaric Crowne and I don’t think this is the last thing he’ll do to me.
1
“Please, please wake up…” I whisper to Jamie but I know he can’t hear me. He can’t do anything about it.
The amount of blood covering his little body breaks me apart. I don’t know how I’m going to go on without him or his mother. They are everything to me. My chest aches at the thought of going on with life without them. How can I live it when they’re not here?
Suddenly, my world alternates and I watch my wife, Carmen with our three year old son in her arms as we stand here, in a place where there’s a glass wall between us. Mine is submerged in darkness with them being the only light that gives me a chance to navigate. Carmen places her hand on the glass with tears running down her face yet she’s smiling at me. Jamie isn’t looking at me, instead he’s wrapped around his mother with his head on her shoulders.
“It’ll be okay, Ric…” Carmen whispers but I shake my head. I know it’s a lie. “It really will be. You’ll do fine without us but we’ll always be with you. Isn’t that right, Jamie? Say bye to daddy.” Carmen kisses Jamie’s temple and I want to hold him as he falls asleep in my arms yet I can’t.
“Don’t go.” I’ve never begged anyone for anything in my life. Never but right now, I don’t care. I want my family back with me. That’s all I need.
Carmen watches me with her soft brown eyes and that easy smile on her face that made me fall in love with her in the first place. Jamie looks at me resembling his mother. He waves at me. Both my hands come up on the glass wishing I could get through to them.
“Let me come with you two. I have to. You’re my family.” I whisper.
“You can’t come where we’re going, Ric.” Carmen whispers. “Not now. Maybe one day…one day, Ric.”
“FUCK!” I yell out but neither my wife nor my son flinch. They just watch me as they are the better part of me.
“I love you, Dean,” Carmen loved calling me by my middle name. “I will always love you and live in your heart. Always.” She whispers as she begins to walk away.
“No!” My fists comes up slamming into the glass wall. “No!”I yell. “Come back, Carmen! JAMIE! COME BACK! You can’t leave!” I yell out not caring who the hell is around or what.
My fists rain against the glass wall but nothing. I can’t get through. The rage takes over, enveloping me in the sort of anger that cripples a man with madness. That’s what I feel and it’s so strong that I choke on it.
My mouth opens and I scream out.
Everything is so strong that I startle myself awake. Someone knocks on my door and then they open it. My assistant, Shantel walks in and she runs over to me.
“Are you okay, Mr. Crowne?” She hovers near my bed but not close to where it’ll look inappropriate.
“Yeah,” I lie, clearing my throat. She isn’t my therapist for me to tell her that I dream of my wife and son every night. That I think of them, every single second that I’m awake. That Ithought about joining them the first time I watched their bodies being embraced by the dirt. But I changed my mind because the animal responsible for killing my son and wife deserved to get dragged through the earth then to hell with me.
My wife believed in heaven. For a while, I agreed with her.
