Page 179 of Blood Day

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Where are you?

I’d been inside his head over the last month. I’d been insidehim. He cared about me. Cherished me, even. At least in his own cold way.

He didn’t want me to die.

And yet…

Part of him continued to fantasize about killing me,I recalled.A dark part of him. A sensible part of him.

Had he cut me off so he could listen to that wicked voice in his mind? To hear that side of him over the part of him that cared?

I shivered.Cedric…

Had he left me to my fate? He was so much older, had seen so much more. Perhaps he’d finally realized that there was no hope, so he’d… he’d left.

Shutting me off.

Dismissing me.

Running away.

No, I thought.No. He wouldn’t do that. His twisted heart felt something. He… he loved me in his own way.

Or did he?

I didn’t understand love. Not really. I just knew that he made me feel alive. He’d taught me how tobreathe.

I was drowning without him, lost in this sea of confusion.

Bus seven.

Graduation robe.

One hour.

Advisor Livia’s words chanted on repeat in my head for nearly thirty minutes, swirling with my pleas for Cedric, my mounting concern that he really wasn’t coming for me.

When there were only ten minutes left before my reporting time and he still hadn’t arrived, I resigned myself to the realization that he’d abandoned me.

Whether on purpose or not, I wasn’t sure.

But I had no choice. I had to follow the rules.

Or I risked death.

Would that be so bad?I wondered as I moved robotically to my closet.Would death be better than this heartache?

A tear threatened to fall from my eye.

I brushed it away.

Maybe he’ll be by the bus. Maybe I’ll see Emine and can ask her what’s going on.

I hadn’t seen her since our last session at the palace. Of course, I hadn’t left my room because I’d thought Cedric had wanted me to remain here.

But he never came back.

He’s blocked me out.

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