Page 54 of The Charmer's Gambit
Tears streamed down my cheeks. No. I couldn’t let anything happen to him. Not because of knowing me. It wasn’t fair. I clutched my stomach as sobs wracked my body so hard that I couldn’t breathe. I hated Ryan more than I ever had in that moment. More than the first time he hit me, or all the times he choked me until I submitted, or even the one time he knocked me out. The emotional torture was his worst punishment, hadchanged me irrevocably, but the fear of him hurting Will nearly killed me.
I don’t just like him; Ireallylike him, I realized.Maybe even love him.
It hit me suddenly, so wholeheartedly, that my tears temporarily halted. I knew I liked him and cared for him, but it went so much deeper than that.
My affection for him lived in a place inside me no one else had ever breached, even Ryan. Will had fought for me to trust him, to give myself to him wholly, and somehow he’d captured so much more of me than either of us expected. Or maybe he knew. Maybe he even felt the same. He’d more than proven that this was no simple game of affection for him; otherwise, I would have ended up naked beneath him two nights ago. And his comments in his bed and on the plane hinted at his unflinching commitment.
My hands trembled as I pressed them into my temples and rocked on the floor. It didn’t matter how Will felt at this point. What mattered was how I felt and what I was willing to do to protect him.
The obvious choice was to flee, to run back to Ryan and beg forgiveness. If I groveled enough, maybe he would let this mishap slide. I’d have to give up my position at the firm, and essentially my life, but it would keep Will safe. Love was about sacrifice, and I would make the ultimate one by giving up all semblance of happiness. But love could also be about strength and unity and trust.
Trust.
“You will trust again, Rachel.” Will’s words from the other night radiated through my heart. He said them with such conviction, such promise.
He believes in me.
But could I believe in myself?
My tears dried as I lay there searching for the strength I needed. Reaching out for help always left me feeling inferior, like I couldn’t do it on my own and had to rely on others. But there was something to be said about recognizing when a situation went beyond one’s control and required assistance.
Those flowers lurking above my head were an indication of just how out of control this situation had gotten already. Knowing that he might be in France, or in this very hotel, watching me? It was insane. He’d lost his ever-loving mind. Going back to him with my tail between my legs would only validate his actions. I couldn’t do that. I wouldn’t survive it.
I looked around the room, half expecting to see Ryan standing victorious over me, but found myself alone. My purse sat forgotten in the foyer near my suitcase. I crawled over to it, not caring at all how it destroyed my stockings. The card I wanted sat where I left it three years ago. I had no idea if the number still worked, but knowing Mark, it did. My hand trembled as I keyed each one into my cell. The call would cost a small fortune, being as it was overseas, but I had no other choice. I needed help, and something told me he knew this day was coming.
It rang once before someone picked up without a greeting.
“Mark?” Was that my voice? I sounded so broken. So scared. “Please tell me it’s you.” Because I wasn’t sure I had the strength or courage to make this call again.
“Where are you?” His deep rumble had me weeping all over again.
“Paris.”
“Are you in immediate danger?”
I looked around the empty room and shivered. “I d-don’t think so.” If Ryan were here, he would have come out of hiding already.
“Give me five minutes,” he replied and hung up.
21
Courage to Tell All
Will probably wanted to know what the hell was taking so long, but he didn’t press when I told him I needed another half hour. When Mark called me back precisely five minutes later, it was from another number I didn’t recognize. He let out a low whistle now after I finished telling him about the last month and the supposed wedding. I also told him about how Ryan handled my previous dates, and everything from the last few years.
“I don’t know what to do,” I whispered. “I can’t let him hurt Will.”
Mark was quiet so long that I thought I’d lost him. But a glance at the screen showed our connection was still active.
“I’m going to need to do some digging,” was his vague reply. “In the meantime, you need to tell Mershano what’s going on. If that psychopath is in Paris, which is a very real possibility, then he needs to be aware of the situation. You can’t keep all this to yourself anymore, Rachel.” He delivered that last line with reproach and served as the only indication that he was disappointed in me for keeping this to myself for so long.
“He’s going to think I’m crazy.” Or worse. He could find me weak for dating Ryan.
“No, he’s going to think you’re brave,” Mark corrected. “You’re asking for help instead of running back to Albertson like a coward.”
His statement made me flinch. He and my brother were never ones to mince words, which I supposed was why they were best friends.
“You were wondering why he’s upped his pursuit over the last month,” he continued. “Easy. His long-term-senator father is about to step down, and Ryan wants the job, but he needs a wife first. The voters love their family values, and his running as a bachelor isn’t going to look great. You’re a political move for him, and one he thinks he can control.”
