Page 74 of The Prince's Game
Evan went to the full kitchen and opened the fridge to pull out a bottle of wine. He didn’t ask if I wanted any, just poured a glass and handed it over. I took it because I needed it, and I knew he had good taste. I kicked off my shoes near the oversized couch by the windows and collapsed onto the plush cushions. He hadn’t spoken a word to me since we got in the car, and I wasn’t going to be the one to break the silence. He said it was his turn to talk, and I was holding him to that.
“Dinner should be here in thirty minutes.” Evan’s thigh brushed mine as he sat beside me on the couch. He scratched the dark hairs dusting his chin and gave me a look I couldn’t interpret. “I’m not sure where to start.”
“How about you start by telling me why you wanted to have dinner.” That seemed an easy enough place to begin.
“Because I’ve missed you. Because I have a thousand things I need to say to you.” He scrubbed a hand over his face. “Look, I’m not good at this, Sarah. My relationships always ended before I could really feel anything, so there was never a need to express myself. But with you, well, everything’s different with you.”
“Why is it different?” I tucked my legs up onto the couch and wrapped my arms around my shins.
“That’s not where I want to start.” His intense gaze held mine. “I didn’t sleep with Amber, Sarah. I won’t lie. I considered it because I was hurt, but nothing happened. We didn’t even kiss.”
“Okay.” All I had was his word to go on, and it wasn’t enough to believe him, but I’d let him continue.
“I can see the doubt in your eyes, but hear me out. I woke up to her climbing into bed with me, naked. Needless to say, she shocked me. I jumped up and turned on the lights, and she followed, going on about reconciling or some shit. I told her to get dressed and leave, but she wouldn’t listen. I was in the process of forcing her toward the door when you walked in.”
“Why are you telling me this?” It wasn’t a memory I wanted to revisit, much less talk about.
“Because I’m a man of my word, and it really pissed me off when you questioned that.”
I snorted. “I walked in on you caressing Amber’s naked body, Evan. I think I was within my right to question your integrity.”
“You should have had more faith in me by that point.”
“Really? And why is that, Evan? Because you were being faithful to me? Only dating me? Oh, wait, no, you were seeing a dozen other women for half of our relationship, right?” I was being a bitch, and I knew it, but he hurt me. Rational words weren’t on the tip of my tongue.
He turned toward me, his gaze intent. “Of all the times we had made love, did I ever throw my pants on right afterward? Did I ever hold you away at arm’s length afterward?”
My anger died with the onslaught of happy memories—him holding me against him after sex, pressing kisses all over my body, worshiping me. He left in the morning each time, never during the night, except those first few times when all we did was kiss. I swallowed. He was right. I should have had more faith in him.
The fact that you’re asking me that tells me how very wrong I was about everything between us.His words from that night by the elevator haunted me. I didn’t understand what he meant, but now I did. He was disappointed that I questioned his faithfulness to me during the show. His actions spoke louder than words. With the exception of France, he was in my room every night. Why would he go through the hassle if he was sleeping with Amber, too? I was an idiot.
“I never slept with her,” he added, his voice quiet. “We kissed for the camera, but never in private. Not even that night. I never wanted her, Sarah.”
“I’m sorry.” The two words were bitter on my tongue and stained with regret. “You’re right. I should have had more faith in you.”
I wasn’t an irrational person, but love blinded me to reason. It made me do and say things that made no sense. My heart was on my sleeve when I went to his room, and it broke when I found him touching another woman. But I missed the obvious. His chocolate eyes gleamed when lost in a moment of passion, and that wasn’t how he looked at Amber that night. He was pissed. I thought it was at my intrusion, but he was angry before I walked through the door. I didn’t notice because I was upset, and I questioned him because I was hurt.
“Our dating wasn’t exactly conventional,” Evan murmured. “And Amber isn’t the reason I wanted to have dinner with you. I just wanted to clear that part up first. I didn’t fuck her, and it pissed me off that you thought I could. After everything, I expected more, but I think we’ve both been operating under some misconceptions. And those started in Iceland.”
I frowned. “I’m not following. What misconceptions?”
“You won’t take my money because you love me. If that’s true, why did you suggest we stop seeing each other after the show?”
“I didn’t.”
“You said we shouldn’t see each other afterward, or at least until the show dies down. Correct?”
My arms tightened around my legs as I tried to hug my knees closer. I didn’t like revisiting this conversation. “You told me you didn’t want anyone finding out about our arrangement, and I knew how you felt about long-term commitments. I suggested what I thought you wanted to hear.”
He stared at me. “And when you did, I assumed that was what you really wanted.”
“What? That’s ridiculous.”
“Really?” He stretched his arms out along the back of the couch and rested his fingers an inch from my knees. “As ridiculous as suggesting we stop seeing each other even though you wanted the opposite?”
“Yeah, but I was doing that . . .”Because that’s what I thought you wanted. “Well, shit.” We did the same thing. “Then what did you want?”
“I told you what I wanted—to keep seeing each other and to be discreet about it.”
