Page 81 of Scarlet Mark
His boss’s deep voice was too low for me to hear his response.
“Yes, I’m aware of the whispers,” Killian replied. “If I decide to move on them, you’ll be the first to know.”
More words that I couldn’t comprehend.
“I know how to do my fucking job. I’ll complete it when I’m ready.” He fell quiet as the other man spoke. “I appreciate that. Yes.” He laughed then, the sound harsh. “You’re right; I don’t care.”
A short murmur followed, then Killian set down the phone. Arthur must have hung up without a goodbye or something. “Is he mad?” I wondered, not wanting to piss off the man Killian considered his boss.
“Arthur doesn’t get mad. That would imply he has emotions.” He leaned his head back and blew out a sigh. “But yes, he wants me to wrap up this job. On the plus side, I officially have the go-ahead to add Clarissa and Geoff Rose to our list. Of course, we were going to kill them anyway, but now at least he’ll profit from it.”
“When?” I asked.
He’d put all our plans on hold after the incident in Charlotte. At first, I’d argued with him, saying it was just a minor setback, and accused him of babying me. But after some reflection, I realized he was right to pause our efforts.
I’d frozen at the Hampton estate, my memories assaulting me from all angles and forcing me into a “safe” mindset. Killian had pulled me out of it by killing Franklin. But it’d still taken me several minutes to process what had happened. It seemed natural for me to hide, to disappear into the recesses of my mind and block out the pain associated with that horrid place.
I didn’t regret the regression, had accepted it as a setback and a learning experience. One I intended to learn from to push forward.
Killian was a patient teacher, mostly, but harsh when I needed him to be. Beneath his instruction, I almost felt ready to face anything.
Almost.
“Soon,” he replied, reaching over to squeeze my knee. He was just as eager to take everyone down as I was, but he also knew I had to be in the right mind frame to help him. Rather than take it all on by himself, he was waiting. Something I sensed was new to him, just like everything else between us.
Hmm, although, I’d come to know him well these last two months, which was how I caught the tick in his jaw. It meant Arthur had said something that unsettled him, something he continued to think about.
“What whispers did Arthur mention?” I asked, wondering if that was what had him perplexed.
Killian exhaled softly—confirming my suspicion—while his thumb traced a pattern against the bare skin beneath my jean shorts. “Another auction,” he finally admitted. “Arthur picked it up on his channels, as did Raven.”
I considered the timeline.
Killian had mentioned there was one shortly after the masquerade. I’d been livid when he refused to go. Now I recognized that it’d been for the best.
Demons lurked inside me, creating a darkness that needed to be exorcised in healthy ways—such as in the bedroom with Killian. And I harbored a deep-seated need for revenge, one that clawed at my heart, begging to be released. However, it had to be under the right set of circumstances. Not rushed. Or I’d freeze again, just like I did in Jefferson’s playroom.
But now I knew how it felt, the signs of an episode coming on, and with Killian’s help, I was learning how to dispel my innate reactions to it. To trust in myself to see beyond the past and focus on the future.
The terrors would never leave me; they were what gave me a reason to fight, what bolstered my tough spirit today. Using those nightmares made me stronger. My experiences were weapons, all contrived to help me seek revenge. Killian helped me sharpen those weapons, molding them into deadly tools I could wield in a fight.
Instead of hiding
“They usually host one auction a month,” I finally said, responding to his comment about my former captors. “So the timeline marries up to what I know about them.”
He nodded, his gaze taking on a faraway gleam, one that radiated a fury I felt to the depths of my soul.
“You want to go after them now.” I recognized the hard glimmer in his pupils, knew it radiated in my own. “When is it scheduled to take place?”
“Next weekend,” he replied, his arm tensing across my shoulders. “But as you said, there will always be another. And another. We can take our time and plan this.”
“While more innocent lives are traded for money.” I shook my head. “You know I can’t let that slide.” This was different from the last time we had this conversation. My head and heart were in the right place now, in agreement for how we needed to proceed. “I feel almost ready, Killian.”
“Almostisn’t good enough.”
“But we have another week. Maybe by then…” I trailed off on a shrug. “You’re the one who always wants to plan. So let’s develop a two-tiered strategy, the first one being on the chance that I’m truly ready, and the second being a backup scenario in case I’m not. It doesn’t hurt to practice, right?” I prodded his side, knowing he’d appreciate my turn of words.
He glanced at me sideways. “It’s like you actually listen to me when I talk, kitten.”
