Page 143 of Never Stop
“Whatever,” I murmured.
That night, I didn’t sleep for more than two hours at a time.
I was pacing again. My body felt as though it was antsy and I couldn’t sit still for more than ten minutes. I was also sweating and shivering at the same time.
“How long will this last?” I asked Easton. He stayed home to take care of me.
“Until it’s out of your system.”
“But how long is that?”
“As long as it takes.”
Groaning, I grabbed my phone and started to research how long people said it took. Some said a few days. Some said a week or more. One lady said one day and she was on oxy for two years. How the fuck was that possible?
I was twenty-four hours in, and everything was getting worse. I was cold, so cold. My feet were cold, but sweating, and my mind felt as though it was on speed. I searched story after story about people’s experiences and there seemed to be none that were the same. I wanted answers.
I wanted to know when it would end.
I wanted to sleep.
“How about you take a hot shower?”
I looked toward Easton, the blanket pulled up to my chin. “Yeah. A shower.”
After Easton helped me get undressed, I stepped under the warm spray of the water. It was like going from a cold swimming pool and into a hot tub. My body instantly started to warm up.
It didn’t last long, though. Thirty minutes after my shower, my body started to shiver again. I also didn’t sleep a wink.
“When will it end?”
“When it’s out of your system,” Easton repeated his previous answer to me.
I didn’t want that answer. I wanted a timeframe. It had been five long days. Each night I went to bed and prayed I’d wake upnormalagain. My mind was still racing. I was pacing every half hour for an hour at a time.
Back and forth…
Back and forth…
“It’s never going to end,” I cried.
“It will,” Easton assured.
“It’s not.”
“It will, baby.”
“I want to die. It’s never going to end, and I just want to just die.”
Back and forth…
Back and forth…
“You don’t want to die.”
“I do.” Tears started to roll down my cheeks. “I can’t take it anymore. My feet are freezing but sweating. I’m not sleeping, and I feel like I could pull my hair out.” I felt like what I assumed being on crack felt like.
“What’s your biggest issue right now?”
