Page 234 of Enigma: The Complete Collection
“Clara!”
“What?” His tone gets an edge of anger to it. “How can you compare yourself to Clara? You’renothinglike her—”
“Yes, I am! I’m exactly like her,” I interrupt. “Even if I can get past wondering if he slept with her, I’m still settling for half a man. I’ll only ever get half a man, never a full one. He will never look at me as he did Ophelia. He will never love me as he loved her. She left him broken. She left him as half a man, but I want all of him, Hugo! I want him solely for me. I don’t want a broken man!”
Hugo stiffens, but he doesn’t refute my statement as he knows what I’m saying is true. Isaac’s heart will never fully belong to me as a piece of it will always belong to Ophelia. It’s callous of me to feel this way, and I understand that Isaac can’t help what happened to her, but the insecurity that he will never love me as he did Ophelia has been gnawing away at my insides since the day I stumbled across my uncle’s report on them in Col Petretti’s file. I thought if I loved him enough for the both of us, it would squash my uncertainties. Only now, after my confrontation with Clara, do I realize that everything I said about settling for half a man was me projecting my anxieties and self-doubt out loud.
Angrily, I shake my head before storming down the sidewalk. I’m not angry at Hugo or even at Isaac. I’m fuming at myself for being a selfish, heartless cow.
I don’t need to turn around to know Hugo is following me. The heavy stomps of his feet are all the indication I need, much less his furious growl. “You don’t know what would have happened between Isaac and Ophelia if Ophelia didn’t die,” he stumbles out. “Maybe they would have split up.”
I pivot on my heels to face him. “You don’t know that.”
“No, I don’t, but neither do you, Izzy. That’s why it’s called blind faith. No one knows what might have happened between them. Just like there’s no guarantee for you and Isaac. It could fizzle in months, or it could last a lifetime, but you won’t haveanythingif you don’t stop running and start fucking fighting!”
“Fighting! That’s all I ever do, Hugo,” I retaliate. “It’s one shit storm after another.”
“That’s what you do for someone you love!”
I angrily snarl. “No, you don’t. You just run and hide, don’t you, Hugo? You know all about hiding from the people you love.”
The instant the words escape my lips, I want to force them back in. I don’t know anything about Hugo’s personal life, so who am I to judge him and his decisions?
Hugo’s jaw muscle tenses. “Yeah, that’s what I did, Izzy. I went and hid like a coward. But I didn’t do that because I didn’t love my family. I did it because I love them more than you’ll ever realize. Just like Isaac loves you more than you’ll ever realize.” His voice cracks with emotion, making the constrictive hold on my heart dangerous. “People make mistakes. Even the strongest men you know make mistakes, but that means they’re human, and they have a heart. They’re not fucking robots programmed to perform and act on cue!”
He steps closer to me, the pain in his eyes undeniable. “I’m going to say to you what I said to Isaac mere weeks ago. If you wait too long, you’ll lose him, then you’ll regret every day of your life that you didn’t fight harder when you had the chance.”
Stealing my chance to reply, he briskly strides down the street. Because his steps are so furious, he soon gains a decent amount of distance between us. As I watch his quickly retreating frame, everything he said runs through my brain on repeat.
The feeling of betrayal will never diminish, but everything Hugo said was true. I will regret it. Not just failing to investigate Clara’s claims with more diligence, but also for punishing Isaac for something he had no control over. I’ve said previously that he’s a man of many talents, but he can’t be held responsible for a traffic accident, so why did I use it against him?
Because I’m a terrible person, that’s why. I’ve let insecurities make me as callous and as vindictive as my father and Col Petretti. That needs to stop. It needs to stop now.
After balancing on my tippy toes, I cup my hands around my mouth to project my voice over the people crowding the sidewalk. “Hugo!”
The ache in my chest lessens when his angry strides stop, and he turns around to face me.
“I’m sorr—”
Before all my apology escapes my lips, a broad arm curls around my waist, and I’m dragged backward. My pupils widen in fear when a white cloth is placed over my mouth. The liquid the material is soaked in burns my throat and my eyes. They feel like they’re on fire.
I fight with all my might to get out of my assailant’s hold, but since I’m overwhelmed by dizziness, my kicks aren’t as hard as usual. As my blinking lengthens, and my body grows heavy, I catch flashes of Hugo frantically sprinting toward me. He barges past spectators watching me being pulled into a white Range Rover that’s just mounted the curb without stepping in to help.
I’m thrown into the back seat with a grunt, then all I see is blackness.
To be continued…
Part four in the Enigma series has been released.
Title - Enigma: The Final Chapter.
http://a.co/fIMBuTf
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