Page 230 of Enigma: The Complete Collection
She may as well have slapped me across the face as her words sting more than any blow she could inflict. When she attempts to move off my lap, I clutch onto her tightly. I’ll physically tie myself to her if I have to. I’ll do anything to keep her secured to me.
Isabelle tries to mask her moan with a huff, but I still hear it. She wants to be taken care of and nurtured—until she’s in the bedroom. There, she loves being controlled, but I can’t use her submissiveness to my advantage. In the past, it was different. She wanted to be sexually tortured into forgiveness. She enjoyed it, but this time, she isn’t the one pleading for clemency. I should be on my knees, not her.
“You once told me I was fighting a battle bigger than us both. That saying goes for you, too, Isabelle. You can fight it all you want, but your body wants me, your heart wants me.Youwant me.”
She doesn’t attempt to refute my statement, but even if she did, her eyes would convey her deceit. She yearns for me as profoundly as I crave her.
When I lift my hand to her face, I pray she doesn’t pull away. Air hisses between my teeth when my thumb skims over lips fantasies were made from. After tracing the cupids bow on her top lip, I set to work on removing the tearstains marking her ashen face.
Just as I’m about to cup her cheek, praying she’ll nuzzle into my embrace, Roger pulls into the underground garage at Regan’s apartment building. When I peer out the heavily-tinted windows, I spot Hugo leaning on the whitewashed brick wall. His knee is bent, and his foot is braced on the brickwork. He pushes off the wall when he detects our approach.
I turn my gaze back to Isabelle. After gathering her trembling hands in mine, I press a kiss to her palms before placing them over my heart. “When you can find it in your heart to forgive me, I’ll be waiting for you,” I quote. “Once you realize you’re fighting a battle bigger than us both, I’ll be waiting for you.”
My heart beats wildly when I open the back-passenger door, slide out, then offer my hand to assist Isabelle out. If I had it my way, she wouldn’t be leaving my car, but if I want any chance of winning her back, I need to give her time to process the confusion no doubt hindering her mind.
Every step she takes away from me cuts me open more, baring my heart to the world, but I know this is the right thing to do. When she enters the elevator, her gaze lifts from the ground. Relief courses through me when I notice her tears have dried. Her eyes aren’t as bright as they usually are, but the quickest flash of a smile before the elevator doors snap shut gives me the slightest slither of hope.
CHAPTER32
ISABELLE
When I saunter into the kitchen, Regan’s eyes pop over the newspaper she’s reading. “Hey, you guys came home earlier than expected last night.”
Air expels from my nostrils. “Yeah, our plans were altered.”By your boss threatening harm to another.
I switch on the rarely used electric kettle. Although my thumping head would appreciate a kick of caffeine, my overtired body needs the soothing effect of a cup of tea.
When I dump my used tea bag into the bin, my mouth becomes ajar. There’s a can of chocolate frosting in the bottom of the receptacle.
A smile curls on my mouth as I pace to the fridge to remove the carton of milk. “What did you get up to last night?” I keep my tone void of any accusations. I don’t want to scare Regan from a one-on-one girlie chat. It will be nice to discuss a relationship that doesn’t center around my disastrous one.
Regan’s shoulder almost touches her ear when she shrugs. “Nothing much.” Her lips twitch when she attempts to conceal her smile.
I step away from the fridge before hitting her with the best ‘bullshit’ face I can muster. “Fine, it was more than nothing. It was huge!”
A giggle rumbles up my throat. I’m not laughing at her statement. I’m smiling at the carefree, down-to-earth Regan I rarely see. Her personality is as high-strung as Isaac’s. She keeps her emotions guarded from prying spectators, so only a very select few get the privilege of seeing both sides of her enigmatic personality.
I place a dash of milk into my steaming hot tea before steering our conversation into unfamiliar territory. “Anyone I know?”
Regan’s carefree attitude switches from friend to kickass lawyer more quickly than a flash of lightning. “Nope.”
The longer I stare at her, the more her eyes glance at random items in her kitchen. Small cracks are forming in her composure, but before I can get her to fully crack, Hugo strides into the kitchen.
“Morning.”
He friskily winks before helping himself to a large mug of steaming hot brew. I pout as my inner vixen screams obscenities at the top of her lungs. She’s already fuming mad that I walked away from Isaac last night, and now her anger is amplified from being denied her early morning pick-me-up.
It took all my strength to walk away from Isaac last night. Even though I said I’d never forgive him, the more I glanced into his eyes, the more my inhibitions dissipated. I’ve always said his eyes are the gateway to his soul, but last night, I couldn’t see any deceit reflecting back at me. All they exposed was that he’s hurting as much as I am. The pain in his eyes maimed my heart. They were the main reason I couldn’t hold back my tears for a second longer.
I don’t know how long I cried in Isaac’s arms, but it felt good releasing all the pent-up hurt I’ve been harboring the past two weeks. It cleared some of the fog in my head and allowed me to start looking at the facts more rationally.
After he dropped me home, I rushed into my room to download the Lady Gaga song Harlow told me about earlier. It is the perfect song to express how I am feeling. It’s about having a million reasons to leave someone, but only needing one to stay. There are a million reasons why Isaac and I should have never become a couple, but there’s only one reason I can’t walk away from him. It’s the one thing that will tether me to him for eternity, even if we aren’t a couple. He owns my soul.
My thoughts are interrupted by Hugo waving his massive hand in front of my face.
“Pardon? Did you say something?”
He chuckles. “I was asking if you’ll be ready to leave soon for your appointment with Avery?”
