Page 59 of His Little Secret in Discretion
“Then you’ll tell me?” he asked.
I shook my head, my eyes averting from his.
Feeling his finger under my chin, I remained still as he turned me back to face him, awaiting my answer.
“I can’t.” My voice cracked again.
“Why not?”
“Because if I do… then everything’s real. My past, my present, my fucked future.” I wiped a fallen tear, shaking my head as he listened patiently. “I won’t be able to pretend everything’s okay.”
He didn’t speak right away. Just watched me with those dark, all-consuming eyes like he was memorizing every fractured inch of me.
Then, softly, “Who says you have to pretend with me?”
I could only look at him. “Pretending is how this—” I pointed between us “—works. It's the only way I can justify being okay experiencing actual luxury before I’m reminded who I am… and where I came from.”
“You think I won’t love every piece of you? The past included?” he said, tilting his head slightly. “You think I’ll run if I see the whole picture?”
“I think you’ll look at me differently,” I whispered. “I think you’ll stop seeing… whatever it is you see when you look at me.”
His grip on my thighs tightened. Not painful but firm, grounding even. Like he wanted to anchor me to him, keep me from drifting too far into the dark.
He didn’t flinch. “I asked you to marry me, Ms. Dalton.”
My brows lifted. “After our one-night stand…”
He shrugged, like it was obvious. “And yet I still asked. You want to know why, Sunshine?”
I looped my arms around his neck, my heart pounding in my chest. “Tell me why, Romeo.”
His voice dropped lower. “Because you could show me the worst parts of yourself, and I’d still crawl back begging for more. There is nothing you could confess… no secret, no sin that would make me walk away. I don’t commit. I never have. But I spent one night with you and wanted a fucking ring on your finger.”
I tilted my head playfully in thought. “If I recall vividly, it’s because I gave you the best ride of your life.”
“Amongst several other things… that was a contributing factor, yes,” he smirked.
I smacked his chest lightly as he leaned forward to kiss my shoulder.
He didn’t pull away after. Instead, his lips lingered there, soft at first, then firmer. Warmer. I felt his mouth part against my skin just enough to graze teeth before he trailed down, leaving a heat that made my toes curl beneath me.
“Blaine…” I warned softly, but it came out more of a breath than a sound.
“Mm?” His mouth was already at my collarbone now, his hands sliding up the hem of my pajama top until his thumbs brushed the curve just beneath my breasts.
“I don’t want your pretend smiles, Maia. I want this.” He tightened his hands on my ribcage, pulling me flush against him so I could feel just how badly he meant that. His thumbs pressed into my skin, branding me as I whimpered against his lips.
“I want everything that makes youyou. Your past, your secrets, your tears, everything… I don’t want the version of you that has to survive for everyone else,” he murmured, dragging his mouth along my jaw. “I want the one that breaks for me whenthe door closes. The one who cries in the shower. The one whose smile could light up a room, but whose jokes would clear it.”
I rolled my eyes, watching as he placed another kiss on my chest.
“You’re such an ass,” I muttered, my voice softer than I meant it to be.
“And yet,” he murmured against my skin, “you’re still sitting here, letting me get under yours.”
“You talk a dangerous talk for a man that doesn’t commit, Mr. Porter…”
He smirked, his breath hot as it fanned over the swell of my breast. “Maybe I’m making an exception.”
