Page 81 of Sugar Rush
“Thanks. I appreciate it.”
“What’d you do, roll around on the ground with it?” She wondered, an amused note in her voice. With some relief, I realized she meant the dirt and leaves that had still been stuck to it. Maybe she hadn’t noticed the other stuff.
“Uh, no,” I answered, biting down into the tip of my tongue to keep from breaking out in hysterics-induced laughter. “We, like, went on a walk in the woods and I dropped it. On accident.”
It was almost sort of true, in a complete lie kind of way. Wehadgone into the woods, and I had dropped it on the ground. On purpose.
“Well, I’m glad you didn’t fall or anything.”
Staring up at her, I blinked innocently as I shook my head. When she walked out again, I pulled the hoodie closer to me, burying my face in it. Frowning a little, I pushed it back away from me. It didn’t smell like Kieran yet, so I didn’t want it.
Sighing lightly, I tapped my fingers on the dark screen of my phone, feeling a bit restless. I wasn’t exactly sure why. Everything was going perfectly for me. Kieran was more obsessed with me than ever, and I was finally hearing the words from him that I’d been dreaming of practically since I’d met him. He still had reservations about our parents finding out, but that was okay with me. One step at a time, like always with him.
I wasn’t sure if he suspected that we were mates yet. I was waiting for the right time to spring that one on him. Hopefullya time where he’d take it gracefully and bury his teeth into my gland to mark me. It felt like we were right there, just a breath away from everything else in the world falling away to let us fully and totally belong to each other. But I couldn’t exactly figure out what was stopping me from bringing it up.
“Hey, Mom?” I asked, impulse taking me over even before I was sure I’d even be able to get the words out.
“Yeah?” She answered me from the next room over.
Anxiety curled in my stomach as I grimaced a little. Was I seriously going to do this? But if I didn’t… What was my alternative? I didn’t know if it was worth asking Kieran about, especially if it would make him feel bad or relive bad memories. But then that meant I’d be doing it to her instead.
“Um, never mind,” I said, groaning lightly as I dropped my forehead onto the table.
“Sweetie, what’s the matter?” She asked, obviously concerned as she came back in and observed my new position. I felt her warm hand drop onto my shoulder, rubbing it a little. “You can ask me.”
“Um, no, I changed my mind. It’s too personal.”
I heard the chair next to me scrape the floor a little as she pulled it out and dropped down into it.
“Something you don’t want your dad to know?” She wondered, and when I turned my head to glance at her, she was giving me a loving, affectionate look. “You know whatever you tell me stays between us.”
“Yeah, it’s… Not really like that. It’s not about me.” When she gave me a confused look, I went on. “It’s about you. And, um, Kieran.”
“What about us?”
“Never mind,” I repeated, embarrassed I’d even started this dumb conversation. “It was rude of me to even think about asking.”
She laughed a little bit, but still looked perplexed. “You’ve got to be the least rude person I know, Jordy. Why don’t you try me? It’s obviously bothering you, and if there’s some answer I could give that would make you feel better, of course I would want to do that.”
Heaving a deep breath, I rubbed my arms uncomfortably. “Well, if you don’t want to answer, you can just say so…”
“I will,” she promised me gently, her eyes prompting me. Her eyes were blue, light and fair like the rest of her features. She looked more like me than Kieran, whose hair and eyes were both dark brown, almost black. That meant he’d probably taken his looks from his father. I wondered if he ever thought about that, and if it made him feel sad.
“It’s really just about… The night you left Kieran’s dad. Did something… Happen? To Kieran?”
She looked surprised by my question, her eyebrows popping up, before her expression turned thoughtful. “You and Kieran never talked about that?”
“Um, no,” I said honestly. “I never asked him.”
“You don’t think he’d tell you?”
“I don’t want him to have to talk about it,” I said softly, glancing back down to the table. I knew she wouldn’t exactly understand. “But… I need to know.”
“Why?” She asked, then quickly shook her head and backtracked. “I’ll tell you, and you don’t have to feel bad for asking,” she clarified gently, laying a hand on my arm. “I’m just wondering why you feel so strongly.”
My pulse flickered, nerves ramping up a bit. I didn’t know if she would suspect my feelings for him, but it was a little late to try and mitigate the damage now.
“Um… It’s just that…” My breath caught in my throat a little as I stared down resolutely, refusing to meet her gaze, only because I was sure she’d know how I felt if she looked into myeyes while I spoke. “I think maybe it’s just something that he still thinks about. And I think it hurts him. And I want to help, but I can’t unless I know what it is.”
