Page 51 of Crashing Into Me
“You can’t tell me you don’t miss this,” she said, as she ran her fingers down her stomach.
He grabbed her by the shoulders as she smiled.
“Kim. Please listen to me. This is never going to happen. Ever. Do you understand?”
He let her go and took the stairs two at a time, leaving her standing in the darkened room alone. Mortified, she picked up the throw blanket and erupted in tears. She couldn’t believe that just happened. Dragging the blanket behind her, she walked tothe guest room and closed the door behind her. She fell onto the bed, covered in wedding magazines, and started ripping them to shreds.
Everything she wanted with him was falling apart. How long would he stay married to her if he couldn't stand to look at her?Maybe,she thought,it would be an open marriage. People did that all the time. Strictly business, and she could get what she needed elsewhere. With that thought, she calmed herself. But it still hurt. It hurt like hell.
KAYDEN LOCKEDTHE room door behind him with a decisive click, the sound resonating with finality. The image of Kim, standing stark naked in his living room, her eyes glazed in desperation, burned behind his eyelids.She was losing her mind,he was certain. He unbuttoned his shirt, the silk cool against his skin, then shucked it off, letting it fall to the floor. Her walking around naked meant nothing to him—it was hollow and empty just like her personality.
The old Kayden, the one who might have been tempted, or at least amused, by something like that, had exited stage left a long time ago, and only proved just how much she didn’t know him at all. He peeled off his jeans, his movements slow, almost ritualistic, as if shedding the day's accumulated grime and emotional wreckage. He always knew Kim was a little unstable, prone to dramatics. Still, even that calculated stunt was out of character for her —a new, unsettling depth that made him wonder whether putting his foot down as firmly as he did was ill-timed.
Brushing the thought of her out of his mind, like an irritating fly, he let his boxers drop and stepped into the cool, darksanctuary of his bathroom. A quick shower to wash the day away, all while wondering what Lana was doing at the same time, remembering the last time he dragged her into that small space with him.
After, he emerged in warm pajamas and unburdened by the earlier encounter, before climbing into the vast expanse of the bed. The sheets were cool and crisp as he lay on his back, his arm tucked beneath his head, staring up at the shadowy ceiling. The silence of the room was deafening, but he knew it wouldn’t be long. He knew that familiar, comforting warmth would soon bloom behind his closed eyelids.
Even though it would be a dream, he’d see Lana’s face again, the mischievous glint in her eyes, the gentle curve of her cheek. And for the first time in a month of torturous, restless nights filled with anxious searches and bitter despair, Kayden felt the tension finally drain from his body and drifted off, and slept soundly.
19
distance between truth
Lana’s eyes popped open when Paula touched her arm. She had slept through the whole flight with the help of an over-the-counter p.m. medication, and couldn’t believe they were there already. The flight attendant walked up to them and handed Lana a bottle of water.
“Welcome to Georgia!” She beamed, grinning ear to ear.
It must be painted on,Lana thought as she opened the bottle and took a sip. Paula leaned close to her and rubbed her forearm.
“You ready?” she asked.
Lana nodded. It was a total lie; she wasn’t ready. She wasn’t ready to see Maureen or deal with the drama that would be kicked into high gear. The only person she wanted to see was Kayden, and she was still unsure of how that would turn out. The airplane door opened, allowing the frigid air to ooze into the jet cabin.
It was almost midnight, so the temperature was about 5 degrees. Closing up the leather jacket she had taken from Kayden a month before, she and Paula stood and started down the plane’s stairs. A car was waiting on the tarmac of the private airport, the driver holding the doors open for them. Paula climbed in first, and Lana took a look at the scenery. The snowwas still on the ground, a few feet deep, but plowed this time. It looked the same now as it did when she was driving out of town. As if the snow put the city in suspended animation until she returned. She stepped into the toasty car next to Paula, who was removing her scarf.
“I’m scared,” Lana said, looking her friend in the face.
She still couldn’t believe everything Paula was doing for her and Kayden, and didn’t know how she would ever repay her.
“I know, baby doll,” she said, “You shouldn’t be. Kim and my mother, on the other hand, should.”
“Where are we going to stay tonight?” Lana asked as the car pulled forward.
“Spence Hotel.”
“We can’t! Your mother’s there,” Lana replied, panicked, sitting up with her eyes as big as saucers.
“It’s ok, we’ll check out by morning and keep a low profile. I still have to bring Kayden up to speed on everything if we’re going to do this right.”
“How are you going to tell him?” Lana asked, relaxing in the seat a little more.
“Oh, I have a plan. Don’t you worry.”
They rode in silence as the warm interior of the luxury car made its way towards Hamby. The drive wasn’t more than ten minutes before they were turning at the familiar roundabout. The streets were deserted and quiet, a light snow covering the roofs and treetops, with warm, glowing street lamps. It looked as if they were driving through a cozy winter screensaver.
As they prepared to turn left onto Patterson, Lana caught a glimpse of Aunt Mae’s, still partially covered by tarps. I guess not to give too much away before the big ceremony, she thought. The car continued down Patterson and, a few minutes later, stopped in front of the hotel. Lana felt the anxiety building in her chest, like heartburn.
The driver exited the vehicle to open her door, and Lana couldn’t help staring at the jewelry store across the street. Only a month and a half ago, Kayden practically dragged her in there to buy that gorgeous diamond ring.
