Page 50 of Fractured Allegiance
Not tonight.
The glass is cold under my hands.
That should pull me back into myself, anchor me in the present, but it doesn’t. It only deepens the contrast. The difference between skin and surface, between being alive and just performing it.
I drop my hands. The loft presses in—thick, unmoving. I move back toward the bed, but I don’t climb in. I stand at the edge again and stare down at the mattress like it might open up and swallow me whole if I let it.
There’s a part of me that wants it to.
But another part—stronger, meaner—wants to feel everything.
I sit again. Let my knees part. Let my spine curl. I run a hand up my thigh, not for comfort, but because it’s mine. I’ve spent too long letting men like Drazen decide where my skin ends and his begins.
Not tonight.
Tonight, I set the rules. Even if I’m the only one who adheres to them.
I press my palm to the inside of my leg and breathe through the rising heat. I let myself feel the tension, the ache, the pull that’s been building between us.
I should push the thought away.
I don’t.
I want him here.
I want him pressed against the wall behind me, one hand at my hip, the other in my hair, his mouth at my ear—not whispering sweet things, but truths. Ugly ones. Ones that don’t care if I flinch.
I want the weight of someone who doesn’t want to own me.
Just to see me.
I slide my hand higher. Not to finish anything. Not yet. Just to claim the feeling that’s mine. The one I’ve denied longer than I care to admit.
My throat makes a sound I don’t recognize.
But I don’t stop.
And when I open my eyes again, the city lights through the window looks like fire behind stained glass.
And I still feel watched.
But this time, I let it happen.
Because this—this burn under my skin, this storm clawing at my ribs, this ache that doesn’t beg for release but recognition—this doesn’t belong to Drazen.
Or Dom.
Or Voss.
It’s mine.
And maybe… Maybe it’s his too.
Chapter 6 – Silas - The Cage Knows Your Name
I didn’t sleep all night.
Not because I'm keeping watch. Not because I'm worried someone might have followed me. I just... don’t sleep.
