Page 34 of Merry on the Mountain
“Look at how pretty my mommy was.” She opens the book as I sit down next to her, the pages showing a young woman withtan skin and hair the same color and texture as Izzy. “Grandma said this was when she graduated from college.”
“Wow, she was really pretty. It’s so nice for them to give you this.”
“I’m going to go to college like she did.” She looks over at Drew. “Did you go to college?”
“Yeah.”
“With Mommy?”
“No, Bug. I went to the University of Wisconsin. I think your mom went to Florida State.”
“Did you go to college?” Izzy asks me.
“I did. I went to a small private liberal arts university that no one has ever heard of.”
“Cool.” She flips to the next page and points at her mom, a large, rounded baby bump extending from her abdomen while she lays on the beach in a neon pink bikini. Not a stretch mark in sight. She was really stunning. “That’s me in her belly.”
I watch as her bright expression dims just a bit.
“I miss her.”
It feels like someone just punched their fist through my heart. I look up helplessly at Drew, but see my own emotions reflected back at me in his eyes. How do you comfort a child who lost their mom so young? It isn’t fair.
Izzy flips to the next page and finds photos of her first Christmas. She and her mom have on matching pajamas while they sit on a coach together. Drew comes over and sits on the opposite side of Izzy. I’m sure that it’s bittersweet for him to see these photos. The moments he missed out on because of shitty management and representation.
“Can we get matching PJs for Christmas?” she asks him.
“Yeah. Of course we can do that, Bug.”
“Willa and Maya, too?”
He smiles, his eyes moving back and forth between the two of us. “We should probably ask Willa if she wants to be included in the new tradition.”
“I’m going to be out of town for Christmas, I’m so sorry.”
“Where are you going?” Izzy closes the book and looks up at me.
“I’m going home to see my family.”
“Oh.” The disappointment in her voice guts me.
“But maybe we could have our own little Christmas party?” I look over at Drew with raised brows. I’d literally do anything to make this kid happy right now. “Maybe we could have a gingerbread house decorating competition and make cookies?”
“While wearing matching PJs?” she asks excitedly.
“For sure.”
“Daddy?” She climbs onto his lap and presses her forehead against his. “Can we?”
“I don’t know,” he teases. “I’m not very good at cookie decorating.”
“Please,” she begs.
He smiles down at her. “Yes.”
“Yay,” she exclaims as she wraps her arms around his neck. “Wait. We should all hug on it.” She holds open her arm and looks over at me. “Willa, group hug.”
Drew holds out his arm, wrapping it around my waist as Izzy wraps hers around my neck. My eyes sting with tears at the joy on her face. I don’t think I could ever tell her no. I’m not sure how he manages to do it.
