Page 57 of Auctioned to the Russian Pakhan
“No. I just found out this morning.” Irina laughed brokenly. “Perfect timing, right? Just when I’m trying to figure out how to walk away from this mess.”
“Is that what you want to do? Walk away?”
The question hung in the air between them. Irina had thought the answer was obvious, but now, faced with Anka’s gentle brown eyes, she wasn’t sure.
“I don’t know,” she admitted. “I thought I did. I thought it would be simple. He lied to me, used me, and planned to destroy my family. I should hate him.”
“But you don’t.”
“But I don’t.” The admission felt like defeat. “How pathetic is that? He bought me like I was property, and I still...”
“Love him?”
The words hit her like a physical blow. “I can’t. Not after everything.”
“Can’t, or shouldn’t?” Anka’s voice was gentle but probing. “Because there’s a difference.”
“Does it matter? How can I be with someone who planned to destroy the people I love most? How can I raise a child with him?”
Anka was quiet for a long moment, staring into her tea. When she finally spoke, her voice was soft with old pain.
“I was married once,” she said. “To a man who seemed perfect on paper. Wealthy, handsome, from a good family. Everything my parents wanted for me.”
Irina stayed silent, sensing there was more.
“He seemed to love me. Said all the right things, made all the right gestures. It took me two years to realize that he saw meas an accessory. Something beautiful to display at parties and events, but not a real person with thoughts and feelings of my own.”
“That’s terrible.”
“The worst part was that I convinced myself it was enough. That being wanted, even for the wrong reasons, was better than being alone.” Anka’s smile was sad. “It nearly destroyed me.”
“How did you get out?”
“I realized that I deserved better than being someone’s beautiful object. That I deserved to be loved for who I am, not what I represent.” She looked at Irina intently. “But you know what I learned?”
“What?”
“That sometimes people start wanting you for the wrong reasons and end up loving you for the right ones. The question is whether you can tell the difference.”
The words settled deep in Irina’s chest, making her think about the man who’d held her hair while she was sick, who’d taught her self-defense with infinite patience, who’d looked at her like she was the most fascinating person in the world.
“What if I can’t trust my own judgment anymore?” she asked. “What if I’m just seeing what I want to see?”
“Then you take time to figure it out. You don’t make any permanent decisions while you’re emotional and pregnant and exhausted.” Anka reached over and squeezed her hand. “You can stay here as long as you need. No one will bother you, I promise.”
“What about Matvei? When he realizes you’re helping me...”
“Let me worry about my brother. You focus on taking care of yourself and figuring out what you really want.”
For the first time in days, Irina felt like she could breathe. The apartment felt safe, insulated from the chaos of her life. Maybe Anka was right. Maybe she didn’t have to make any decisions right now. Maybe she could just exist for a while, let herself heal and think and figure out what came next.
But even as she tried to relax into the temporary sanctuary Anka had provided, she couldn’t stop thinking about Matvei. About the panic that had flickered across his face when she’d pushed past him in the hotel. About the way he’d stayed with her all night, taking care of her without asking for anything in return.
About the baby growing inside her, a baby that would tie them together forever, regardless of what she decided.
The future stretched ahead of her, uncertain and terrifying. But for now, she was safe. For now, she had time to think.
For now, that would have to be enough.
