Page 66 of Three Pucking Ex's Brothers
My phone buzzes again in my pocket, and I ignore it, telling myself I’ll look when I get home. It’s likely Freddie, anyway, probably asking when I’ll be home since it’s late.
I look at Zack, feeling on edge, but also feeling like I need to tell the truth so I can move on. Otherwise, I think this will eat at me,and I don’t want that. I don’t want these thoughts to destroy my focus or infiltrate my mind when I least expect it.
“I sort of um…seeing them…” I swallow hard. “I tried to, you know…not come, but?—”
“Oh.” Zack’s voice drops. “Oh…that’s why you’re messed up?”
I don’t look at him, pulling my legs to my chest as I stare out the window. “I mean itiskind of fucked up, Zack. I know what I did was wrong and—” I close my eyes. “Then there was this morning, and she all but ran out there, and I offered her a ride, and then we just sort of got to talking and?—”
“You like her,” Zack says carefully, pulling up to my house.
“I don’t know,” I admit. “I think she’s gorgeous, yeah, and she’s never been anything but nice to me, and when we talked this morning, I felt like I do when I talk to you. Or Chloe…”
Zach gives me a cautious look. “Can I ask you a really personal question?”
I look back at him. “What?”
“Did you…” He clears his throat. “Were you watchingher?”
I blink. “Obviously. Why would I watch my brother?”
Zack chuckles. “Did you come? I know you said you didn’t want to, but I know that’s an…issue with you.”
I feel on the spot when he says the words. Like I have aproblemor something because I view masturbating as a damn chore and sex as some scientific thing I don’t understand.
I mean, I understand it. I’ve just…never done it.
But I want to. Have sex, that is. As I think about the idea, I find my mind forms the image of Nora. On the couch, beneath my brother. Those sweet sounds—moans—escaping her mouth.
And then I imagine being in his place. What it would feel like to have Nora’s body against mine, her lips against mine.
“Yes,” I say guiltily. “I couldn’t help it.” My cheeks heat, and I feel like my entire body is on fire. “But afterward I got freaked out, because it wouldn’t go down…even after I came.”
Zack chuckles.
“What’s so funny?” I bite.
“You know, I thought your aversion to sex was because you didn’t get turned on by anything, but apparently I was wrong.” He shakes his head. “Turns out you have a voyeurism kink, who knew?”
I cross my arms. “It’s not like that. It’s notjusta sex thing.” I wrinkle my nose.
“You like her too, I know.”
“Yeah.” I speak softly.
“Maybe you should ask her out.”
My eyes widen in shock. “You aren’t serious?”
Zack shrugs. “I mean, Rush didn’t waste his shot, why waste yours? It’s not like she’s with Brett anymore, right? Cheating or not…she’s fair game.”
“I can’t ask my brother’s ex out…that’s like…in the rules or something.”
“No one’s saying you have to marry the girl. Just…ask her out for coffee or something. Maybe she could come to your next game? That’s neutral.”
I consider his words, but have none to respond with.
“I’m not saying you should date her or anything, just…hang out with her. Talk to her. See where it goes. That’s all. I think…it would be good for you.”
