Page 61 of Three Pucking Ex's Brothers
I grip my cock through my sweats as I close my eyes, trying to brace through the sounds of her breathless, aching moans. I feel the wet spot forming against my fingertips, and I whine in defeat because I know there’s no settling this. I have to let it happen. I have to come.
Even if I don’twantto.
It’s one thing to be aware of your kinks and another to be aware of your traumas. But being aware of how your trauma has turnedintoa kink?
That’s a whole other level of hell I don’t wish on anyone.
Because as guilty as I feel right now, I also like it. I like this feeling that Nora evokes in me.
“No,” I utter to myself. “No, please, I don’t want to come.”
I’m not sure if I’m telling imaginary Nora as she moans through the phone, or if I’m telling myself.
Maybe both. Though, I know she can’t hear me and she likely doesn’t even know that I’m seeing her like this. Hearing her like this.
Which makes what I’m doing so much worse.
I hate it.
But I fuckinglove ittoo.
I’ve always been the one in charge, the one in control when it comes to my relationships and my sex life. But Nora Brighton makes me feelout of control.Like I can’t grasp the reins as they slip through my fingers.
And something about that is as terrifying as it is hot as fuck.
I squeeze my cock through my sweats, trying to stave off the desire, but the pressure only makes my cock harder. I’m so fucking hard it hurts, and I force back tears because I want to come so fucking bad, but not like this.
I slide my hand in my pants, feeling the familiar solidness of my shaft. When I touch my slit, I feel the sticky, warm precum collected at the tip. I let go and shove my sweatpants and boxers down, positioning myself on my bed so I can relax on my back.
Even when I masturbate, I rarely do it like this. Usually, I opt for one of my toys—usually my stroker since I can easily mount it and in a few thrusts I can find that release. I’m so used to being on top in every way that matters, from the ice to the bedroom and everywhere in between, that even this feels terrifying.
In all the years I’ve dated and engaged with my subs, not once have I ever laid down like this—on my back with my cock in the air.
There’s a vulnerability to exposing myself like this. To giving myself up to someone to take control of, which is why I’ve never done it. I’ve never laid myself bare for a woman to take, because even when I was younger, I feared being taken advantage of. Being submissive…
I never trusted anyone enough.
Being the one on top…it was easier.
I had to dominate the ice if I wanted to make it to the AHL, which I did. I had to be the one in charge when it came to my siblings, since Brett didn’t seem to want to be a big brother to either Russ or Tommy. Hell, he barely acted like a brother tome, but I think our relationship was formed out of necessity for him.
And eventually, I just…fell into that role and it fit. But now…
Now as I lie here on my bed, comfortable with my hand over my cock as Nora’s moans fill the room, I can’t help but feel the same underlying concern that anyone could find me like this. ThatNoracould find me like this…
I let my mind wander to what she would do if she did find me. Like this. Listening to her with my hand around my cock, stroking myself to the sight of her, to her sweet moans.
My hips thrust of their own accord as my fingers slide through my precum.
Would she be offended? Call me a fucking perv?
Or would she see how hard she makes me and feel complimented?
Would she take one look at my dick and run away? Or would she wrap her long, lithe fingers around it and stroke me? Would she taste me with her tongue?
Straddle my hips and pin me beneath her?
The thoughts mixed with her moans is too much as I let my mind settle on that last one. The fantasy IknowI shouldn’t dwell on, but that seems to permeate my brain lately.
