Page 106 of Three Pucking Ex's Brothers
But I know my feelings for the Sterling brothers are not as platonic as they used to be.
There was no alcohol to blame, or distraction, or mid-life crisis. Nothing and no one to shove blame on when Rush asked me if I wanted him to use a condom.
I should have said yes, because that would have been thesmartthing to do, but…I didn’t want him to.
I can’t even blame it on the heat of the moment. I just…wanted him. I wanted everything he had to give, and I wanted to feel that praise and warmth and adoration I’d always dreamed of. And for the first time, I felt like I could have everything I wanted.
Freddie’s words reverberate in my brain.
All you have to do is ask, princess.
When the sky is the limit, how do you stop asking?
I’ve never felt like this before. About anyone.
Anyone butthem.
I didn’t expect to feel soconnectedto Rush. But when his lips found mine and he buried himself inside me…it was perfect.
The same way I felt when Freddie came undone beneath me, when he cuddled me into the night until I fell asleep.
Just like I felt when Tommy smiled after tasting something he liked, and then tasting it on his tongue.
I told Abby I had sex with Rush. And I told her I didn’t know how to feel about it, but the truth is I do know how I feel. I’m just terrified I’ve made a grave mistake.
But how can something that feels sorightbe so bad?
Thankfully, when Rush and I arrived last night, Freddie and Tommy were already asleep, and this morning I left before anyone else was up, needing to open up early for Mrs. Clark’s appointment today.
And when I saw Abby, I don’t know…the words sort of just fell out. And then Zayne came in and…
I tell myself it’s over with Brett. I have my things and now I need to put him in the past. I need to move on.
But can I? Can I find it in myself to let go of those dreams I once had and embrace the unknown?
Something tells me I can, but…I’m still scared. I don’t know what I’m doing with Tommy, Freddie, and Russell Sterling.
I just know that when I’m with them, things feel right.
Maybe that’s enough for now. Maybe I just need to keep focusing on what feels right and go from there.
I pull into the parking lot of the local park and get out. The cool air is refreshing as I slide my hands in my pockets and head down the sidewalk. I get lost in the tweeting birds and the golden-hour sun.
I walk and walk, watching everyone and everything. The kids playing on the playground. The couple holding hands crossing the street. And then I see him.
Tommy Sterling, with a group of people playing field hockey. A handful of people are perched on the bleachers, and just as I see them, the crowd jumps up and down and the buzzer sounds. I carefully make my way over and take a seat.
I know he doesn’t see me, he’s not looking in the stands, but I can’t help but watch him. I’ve been to a few Lions games, and I’ve certainly seen Brett play, but I’ve never been to one of Tommy’s games.
Community field hockey is quite different than professional or even semi-professional hockey, but there’s a sort of energy to it that I can’t help but respond to. It’s wild and carefree, and fun. I can feel the energy of the crowd.
A woman nudges my arm next to me. “It’s Nora, right?” she says, and I turn to see a short, pale blonde with bright pink tips at the edges of her hair. Her brown eyes are rimmed in dark liner and she’s wearing a large black hoodie. Her pale legs jut out from beneath and I wonder if she’s wearing anything underneath. A skirt or shorts?
“Um yes, you are…”
“Chloe,” she says plainly. “We met at the Sterling New Year’s party last year.”
Oh!
